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Does a person control you?

Naran

He is controlling me. If you think A is trying to control you, then it means you have fear of being controlled.

  • Release the fear of being controlled

Can you release the fear to be controlled?

Why A is controlling you? It is because you have the fear of being controlled.

  • Before releasing the fear welcome it and then accept it.

Whenever he controls you, are you resisting him?

  • Accept your resistance to him and release it.

Do you like to change him?

  • If yes, can you release the desire to change him?

What do you dislike in him?

  • Can you let go this dislike?

You may ask a different question.

What is that you disapprove, or reject/dislike in him?

Can you accept him as he is? If you get “No” then continue the exercise. You will not get an immediate yes, as you have dislikes for him.

Does this person cause fear in you? What will happen if you are standing in front of him? Is there is any feeling of insecurity?

  • Release your feelings of insecurity.
  • Release your feelings of him.

What do you think will happen if you are in front of him? Do you want this fear to happen?  If no, then release it.

  • Can you release this wanting to happen?
  • Release your fear.

How do you protect yourself? Do you show your anger? Do you resist him? Alternatively, do you have the desire to separate from him or go away from him?

  • Release all those desires.

Can you now accept the person as he is? If you get ‘No”, then continue the exercise. Can you have trust in him? Does anyone think that he or she cannot accept him as he is?

Please understand, if you cannot accept him, then he will continue to be in these types of situations. If you do not want to quarrel or lose harmony, you can nullify the charge of emotions by accepting him as he is.

Related Blog

I love to take control of my life: http://wp.me/ptUMq-4D

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Magic mantra – every day, week and month

RD

Referring the article: https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/03/02/moving-to-a-new-location/

I am amazed reading this, as today I was reading old articles of 2009. I was filled with eagerness to learn more and regret that I “wasted” my last four years.

Then I started repeating:

  • “I release my desire to learn more”,
  • “I release regrets of the past”
  • “I accept the present”.

Soon my frame of mind was positive and cheerful again!!

This is a magic mantra. All day now, I repeat this for all things! And finding myself closer and closer to the person I was – before all the stressful life events (happened to me).

From RULE your MIND Workshop notes

1. Release the emotions you felt during the day

Do this exercise for all of them – taking one emotion at a time. Even if it is a positive feeling, release that. Find out the state of the mind and do the steps:

  • “I welcome this state”,
  • “I accept it”
  • “Can I release that?”

Even if it is a negative emotion (or feeling) like anger, you release it.

Whatever that does not go, write it in a notebook and continue to work on it, until it goes.

2. Release emotions felt during the last one week

What are the predominant emotions you had? During last seven days what incidents happened? What emotions you felt?

Welcome each one of them, accept them and release them by keep saying,” I release, I release”.

3. Repeat the exercise for last one month

Are you able to remember any emotions? Are there are any emotion still persisting? When I say emotions, I mean not just negative emotions but also positive emotions.

Likes and Dislikes

Naran

How liking for a person operates inside the mind?

Take one person what you like about him and what you don’t like about him, say your spouse for example.

You have a liking for the person. What is the desire operating behind this like?

For some reason you like him. Whoever listens to us we like them. If somebody argues with us, even if they tell the truth we don’t like them.

Therefore, when we like somebody we have to like him for some reason. It could be based on desire for approval or desire to associate.

  • Therefore, shall we say, ‘I release my desire to like him’.

Because we have desire to possess, when that person is around, we feel happy.

When they go away from us, then we do not feel happy and start hating that person.

Did you release the liking for that person? We are not sure, so we are not releasing it.

When you release your likes about a person, everything will go on well between you and the concerned person. Love will get stronger.

  • Release all your likes and dislike for the same person.

How does dislike operates?

If they are like this, then I am happy about them. Thus, a desire to control or change the person operates here.

  • Therefore, welcome your dislike and release your dislike.
  • Then accept your desire to control and release it as well.

Stop thinking negative

Rhythm

I noticed that you always say that our conscious mind always has a tendency to create that what we don’t want.

Then how we can stop it, as we can’t stop thinking about our needs and desires?

If we think negative then it often creates it. Why then we wish positive when it doesn’t happen?

Naran

Just say, “I release this thought” as and when any thought arises.

If you have a desire, release that and work towards that desire.

Don’t think about the result while you are working towards your goal.

Accept whatever comes as results whether you wanted it or not:

  1. When you have got what you desired, then PRAY for others – who are denied and/or whose desires were unfulfilled.
  2. When you have not got what you desired, THANK the DIVINE for giving it to someone, who needed most.

Fighting for Happiness and Success

ALAMELU

As you said do not resist allow things to happen!!

How cannot we resist – myself verge of losing job – hubby not yet got job – severe mental stress killing me very badly. How I allow myself not to feel stressed. Please let me know?

Naran

When you are on the verge of losing the job, will your worry or fear get the job back?

If so, have fear and worry.

Your fear and worry or anger is what is known as Resistance.

When you accept what is happening, you may see and utilize other avenues.

A message is received (from the incident why you lost the job).

Instead of being overtaken by the rush of emotions and thoughts, and becoming judgmental about what is happening (which is of no use), go within and watch your reaction.

Say, Yes I accept this emotion. I release this.

Go on releasing whatever thought comes to your mind.

After sometime, analyze why this emotion or these types of thoughts come.

Ask yourself is it because of your desire to change the event?

If the answer is yes, say, I release my desire to control or change what is happening.

Ask another question.

Are all the emotions because of fear?

Whatever we fear will manifest.

Say, releasing this fear, I release my desire for security.

Then when the mind is almost clear of restlessness, start chanting “I accept whatever happens totally”.

Check out the “RELEASE your RESISTANCE” CD, which will help you to release your resistance to find happiness and success in life: http://naranhealingproducts.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/release-your-resistance-cd/

Moving to a new location

Let us say, you want to come to Chennai.

Release your likes about Chennai then only you can come to Chennai.

  • I release my likes for Chennai.

I like Chennai because of my liking to Hotel Saravana Bavan and Marina Beach in Chennai.

I accept my liking for Chennai.

Then, I release my liking for Chennai.

  • I release my dislikes for Chennai.

I dislike Chennai, because of auto drivers, and it is very dirty.

What’s the desire that operates here?

There is a desire to control and to change it. For example, we say, ‘If I am given power, I will change it in no time’.

Here, we are only releasing the desires (or dislikes).

Likewise you can do the same when you are moving to a foreign country.

Release both your likes and dislikes related about a situation you wanted to change.

Rule your MIND! Rule your LIFE!!

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part IV

Read part I in the series:  https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/how-to-stop-the-mind-influencing-us-part-i/

Part II: “The need for Letting GO” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/the-need-for-letting-go/

Part III: “Letting GO in Action”https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/letting-go-in-action/

Your child is not studying

Letting go proves to be very difficult for the mother.  Between feelings/emotions and action there is no gap. So she gets angry and scolds him.

Then she will feel guilty and pamper him to appease him. During this process, the purpose of the son to study has been lost.

How to manage such a situation?

Whenever any emotion arises, ask the questions:

  • What are the thoughts?
  • What is the emotion behind the thought(s)?
  • I accept this thought
  • Can I release it?

By asking questions, you are creating a gap between thoughts and actions.

Will he study if I release the thought? He has not studied so far anyway.

Try this technique, release your anger and do the action. Then see the results for yourself whether he studies or not.

Why there are communication barriers between mother and son?

Emotions block the communication.

What is the communication required here? He has to listen to us for him to study.

There can be three types of desires here.

Desire to control or change the person

He has to study very hard. He has to become an Engineer and so on.

A framework is present here:

  • Release the thought one after another
  • Do I want to change this person/child?
  • If I say yes, can I release my desire to control the person?
  • We are only releasing the desire, and we are not releasing the action here.
  • I release my desire to control the person. Only then your anger will go.

Desire for more security – feeling of insecurity

Is there is any desire to feel more secure?

Only if he studies well he will do well and then I will become free.

Where there is fear there is no presence of Divinity. Only Satan is present.

I release my fear.

These desires are born with ego.

Desire for approval

Others should recognize my son’s talent. Others should appreciate us (by appreciating my son’s excellence in his studies). People have to complement us (how well you have brought him up).

Another example where a husband desires his wife should treat him properly when he comes home from office.

Release that desire.

What if she appreciates you or not? You let go the craving for recognition.

More and more you should indulge in releasing thoughts, like a game.

Rule your mind instead of mind ruling you

Now mind is managing your life.

Instead, manage it yourself.

Then you do not need a teacher. You do not need anybody.

Therefore, just let go all the thoughts.

What this technique can do

  • Achieving your goals. We are not saying no for achievement. We are only entitled for action and not fruits for the action.
  • Keep saying release and go beyond likes and dislikes.
  • Decision-making
  • Breaking bad habits
  • Better Health and Wealth
  • Good Relationships
  • Build better parent and children relationships
  • In your career you will be able to do wonders

In entire life, you can let go and release. Everything will happen without your intervention.

Letting GO in Action

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part III

Read part I in the series:  https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/how-to-stop-the-mind-influencing-us-part-i/

And Part II: “The need for Letting GO” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/the-need-for-letting-go/

How to bring the mind to do letting go?

Let us say, you are angry.

Then affirm, “I am not the mind. I feel angry.”

Here you have changed “I am angry” to “I feel angry”.

If you are happy then affirm, “I feel happy”, and so on.

Prepare a checklist of emotions

List the emotions you are feeling currently.

Irrespective of whether they are positive or negative, release them.

Let us see an example

Somebody cheats you.

How you let go the emotions attached with this incident?

List the emotions first.

For example:

  1. Let him go to hell
  2. He is not fair
  3. How can he do this to me, when I have done so much to him?

(One thought will generate another thought)

Take the first one “Let him to hell”.

  1. Affirm, “I accept this thought.”
  2. I ask the mind, “Can I release it?”
  3. If it says no, then I question back the mind, “When can I release it?”
  4. If it keeps quiet, then I ask the mind, “Can I release at least 10% of the thought?”
  5. If it says yes, then I release the 10%.

It is just a mind game. Playing games with mind like this will confuse it.

A confused mind cannot have any impact on your actions.

Obsession Will Not Make It Happen

Naran

If you are obsessed of anything, it may not happen. I want you to change your mind-set and be relaxed.

Oli

I am always scared of losing my love. I know I became obsessed and I really try to be relaxed and leave it to divine.

However, I get impatient as I lost my first love like this.  That’s why I think it is going to happen again.

Naran

Whenever you get the fear just say within, “Why this fear”?

The mind always has a tendency to think and feel as it did in the past.

The event may be new. The feelings and thoughts are never new. The same feelings and the same thoughts are produced every day.

As long as we think that we are mute spectators of events, we cannot do anything.

You are not your mind. When it produces some feeling or thought, which you don’t like, you have the ability to release it.

When a feeling arises, or when a thought comes out, just say:

  •          Can I release this thought?
  •          Why should I keep this thought?
  •          Is this thought helping me or hindering me?
  •          If it hinders me, can I release it?
  •          If the answer is “yes” say, “I release this thought.”

Say this as many times as possible so that you are out of the fear.

This method will help you come out of fear.

Fear always manifests what you don’t want in life.

Oli

You have told me not to be obsessed and to relax. But how can I able to know my limits? Can’t I have right to express my feeling? Can’t I pray or try to regain my lost harmony between us?

I am chanting mantras with full faith on divine. How can I know that there is still a hope? Because we are neither astrologer nor we can talk to divine.

I am going to say my feeling to him tomorrow after chanting OM CHAM NAMAHA OM JAM NAMAHA.

Naran

When you are obsessed with worry and fear you are breaking the quantum rules.

Your fear will manifest the one which you don’t want, instead of getting what you want.

Desire something. Quieten your mind, relax and release it to the divine field.

Approaching anything with the calm and relaxed mind has got better chance of getting what we want.

How to remain calm and relaxed?

That is where the surrendering attitude enters. By surrendering the desire to the divine field, you accept what the divine offers. Surrendering makes you think that whatever divine offer is good for me.

 

Be Aware! Be Alert! Release the Emotions and Thoughts behind every Incident or Event

Dear Naran,

I, along with several other people attended the class last Saturday on Living with Awareness. Before I left home, my younger son had excitedly asked me what class I was attending. I’d said it was a class by my Bach Flowers Teacher, and I was going to learn more ways to help myself and everyone at home.

The class actually started with me wondering about what the workshop was all about. During the initial explanation on how the class can empower us to handle life situations, you asked someone to share a recent incident that has caused stress.

Not really looking for answers, but curious to see where this might lead, I was the person who shared my worry over misplacing a receipt from the laundry service where my husband’s expensive suit was given. I did not exaggerate.  This suit was more expensive than my wedding sari and wedding reception sari combined!! Why we had to spend so much money on a suit was a thought that crossed my mind, but right then I had to find the receipt or forever I would feel terrible about my carelessness.

You told me to accept the anxiety and release it. And release it slowly, I did. The remaining worry and fear also left me little by little after you correctly helped me to recognise that those negative emotions were attached to the value I placed on the item, the desire to own, and my worry that I will be seen as a careless person by my husband. I released them all, and felt strangely empty.

I knew things were not going to happen on their own, and knew I would be going back to searching for it again. However, this time I would not be driven by fear or be so stressed that I would be annoyed at my kids for nothing.

The rest of the class was interesting, and when the workshop ended, I stopped to run some errands. Around 5pm, I was headed back home when I saw the Red Roses Laundry shop to my right. I decided I had to be bold and ask if they would give it with an ID proof or just convince them with my description. At the very least, I wanted to tell them to hold on to it, and not give to anyone who comes with a receipt.

I had to drive further to make a U-turn, and sensing my anxiety and doubts, I put what I had learnt in the class to full use. I recognised the thoughts, accepted them and released them over and over again. I went a little further and imagined a situation where I am flatly denied, then accepted that disappointment and disillusionment and released it. Going even further, I envisioned a situation where I get what I want, accepted that happy thought and released the feeling of excitement, and elation that I would feel after such an event. I repeatedly accepted and released until I was at the shop’s doorstep.

I went up to the man there, and said, “I’d given my husband’s expensive suit and now I’ve misplaced the receipt. He has an important meeting to attend. I can get you photocopy of my voter’s ID, and proof of address… what should I do?” To this the man said, “Nothing. Just tell me what colour it is.”

I clearly remember accepting the good news, but feeling no strong emotions – just breathing a lot easier! Then, he went to search after enquiring if I’d given anything else with it. I said no, while I gave him the suit’s description, approximate date it was given etc. After less than 10 minutes, he emerged from his store-room, showed me my husband’s suit and said, “You said no, but you’d also given a lady’s top with this. Here it is.” I looked at the simple white top that had been gifted by a friend. This one had a value that only memories could give, and no money could match.

I left the shop thanking the man wholeheartedly, and thanking you too Naran, for everything. The exercise I’d done to release the happiness after success worked wonderfully. I went back home and calmly presented the suit to my husband. He thought I’d found the receipt. I said no. He asked if I’d convinced the shop after giving IDs. I said no.  

I said, “I told you I was going to learn ways to help everyone at home. I used what I learnt today to handle this situation.”

My husband was amazed, and made me tell him all about the class later. I did, and am grateful for the class for all that I learnt.

Thank you,

Roopa

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