I have a BIG list of “shoulds”
“I should get up from the bed very early in the morning”
“I should keep the house clean”
“I should avoid sweets” (a classic example)
This is a list that contains items that we desire to do, but unable to do.
Why can’t we implement them
Whenever we want to do something, and if we don’t, then there is some resistance inside us. Though, interestingly we always find the reasons outside us, for not doing them. For example, the classic reason we give for any major setback in life is, “My family is not supporting me doing anything concrete in life”. Sometimes we say, “My family commitments don’t allow me to take up music as my hobby”.
How we developed this internal resistance
We learnt this resistance from our childhood days. Whenever our parents want us to do something, we resisted it. When our parents asked us to study, we pretended that we are studying. When they told us not to do something, we did it without their knowledge. This childhood behaviour became part of us, as internal resistance.
Mind Working in Opposite Directions
Our Life is dominated by two divisions that are inside our mind. One is the Parental Ego – our desires stem from here, and the other one the rebellion is our Child Ego.
There is always a conflict between the Parent Ego and the Child Ego. Desires coming from the Parent Ego are resisted by the Child Ego. This results in non-fulfilment of our desires.
This is like pressing acceleration and applying breaks at the same time. Why don’t we realise this? It’s because our desire is conscious, while the resistance is unconscious.
- “I am working hard but not making money” – something in me is resisting making money. If I release that resistance, then making money is a piece of cake.
- “I want to reduce my weight” – one part desires to be slim, while another part resists by eating all junk stuff.
How do I manage these two forces working in opposite direction
Let us take the example of not making enough money.
1. You are also resisting the present state. You are not able to accept your present state, for example, the fact that you are poor or overweight. Accept your present by affirming,
“I accept myself totally”
“I accept myself even though I am poor (or overweight)”
2. We should be aware of the two forces opposite to each other inside us.
“I want abundance of money” – is the desire. What’s the feeling behind lack of money? Welcome this feeling and release it. Release every feeling associated with lack of money. Affirm,
“I accept my lack of money”. Then start accepting the feelings and thoughts associated with it.
“I accept my feelings of shamefulness”
“I release my feeling of shamefulness”
“I release the thought, I can’t make money”
Then release your internal resistance.
“I release my resistance to earn ___________”.
3. Resistance means opposition. Therefore, affirm,
“I release my own opposition to making millions”
(When we see opposition outside us, we see nothing but our own opposition)
Do tapping while affirming the above for better results. Should it be done routinely? For better results, do it regularly or as soon as we get those feelings again.
Nobody is blocking us. The block is only inside us.
RULE: Act Different
(Based on NLP)
Gita works in a garment industry.
She had to place an order for 100 meters of Blue cloth and 1000 meters of white. Instead she placed an order for 1000 meters of Blue and 100 meters of White. Using this combination, she would not be able to execute her production work. The material will be unusable, resulting in loss of money for her company. May be she will lose her job too.
She realized her mistake when she reached her home only. By then it was late night and the supplier would not take any change in order over the phone. She had to do it over the internet.
She called Naran S. Balakumar next day at 7 in the morning. He told her to do the following:
- Count the no of flowers – white and red flowers, on her way to office. She had to stop at every office building where there are flowers, count them – White and Red, and put the counts in a piece of paper.
- Call Balakumar as soon as she reaches her office, but before entering the office and give him the counts. (This step was to stop her accessing her computer as soon as she enters her office and thus change her expected behaviour pattern.) The reason being: when you Change your Routine Habitual Actions, you will get Different Results and not the expected ones.
She did so. After she gave him the counts, she checked up her mail box.
Surprisingly she had received a mail from the supplier. He had mentioned in the mail that it looks like that the order is not as per standing instructions given to them. Therefore he wanted to confirm whether he can execute the order or not.
By changing her action pattern (called as Breaking the Pattern in NLP), Gita could save her job as well as stopping her company from incurring loss and get a bad reputation with their client.