Desire for approval in action
You can list the ways you seek desire for approval:
- Thank you for your appreciation
- I don’t want to hurt his feelings
- I should not reject him
- If I do this, he will be happy
- If I do this, he will not get angry
In addition, list the ways by which you allow yourself to be controlled by others or control others – Desire for approval.
You can term it as fear of rejection or disapproval, for example to influence others through Batch Flower Remedies (list this item too).
We have so much desire to control others and events. We use Bach Flower remedies either with a desire to change ourselves or others.
70% of the time we are operating with this desire and may be more, but not less. If we release this desire, most of the problems will be solved by itself!!
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How liking for a person operates inside the mind?
Take one person what you like about him and what you don’t like about him, say your spouse for example.
You have a liking for the person. What is the desire operating behind this like?
For some reason you like him. Whoever listens to us we like them. If somebody argues with us, even if they tell the truth we don’t like them.
Therefore, when we like somebody we have to like him for some reason. It could be based on desire for approval or desire to associate.
- Therefore, shall we say, ‘I release my desire to like him’.
Because we have desire to possess, when that person is around, we feel happy.
When they go away from us, then we do not feel happy and start hating that person.
Did you release the liking for that person? We are not sure, so we are not releasing it.
When you release your likes about a person, everything will go on well between you and the concerned person. Love will get stronger.
- Release all your likes and dislike for the same person.
How does dislike operates?
If they are like this, then I am happy about them. Thus, a desire to control or change the person operates here.
- Therefore, welcome your dislike and release your dislike.
- Then accept your desire to control and release it as well.
Posted in Rule Your Mind
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You want to control your child’s behavior. Instead of studying, he is watching the TV all the time.
- First say, “I release my desire to control him”. Then advise him.
Why? If you tell him anything with judgment, then he will never listen to you for sure.
How do we control our children? They have to be punctual, eat healthy, study well etc.
Thus, we control all their activities because we think they are to be corrected. We don’t allow them to grow in their own way.
- What will happen if we don’t tell them so?
If I don’t tell him then he won’t go to school.
- There is a fear he won’t go to school.
- So I release the fear that he won’t go to school.
- What will happen if he doesn’t go to school? Nothing will happen.
I have a responsibility as a mother. Other people should say that my child is a good child.
- Say, “I release my desire for approval”.
- In addition, say, “I release my desire to control him”.
- Release all the desires and then discipline him.
- There are three basic desires that are operating within us – desire to control, desire to get approval and desire for security.
Even if I wake him up, he doesn’t get up.
- How do you exercise your control with him? By getting angry with him, you are exercising your control over him.
- Release that.
- What’s that you don’t like about him? You dislike him because he is getting up late.
- Release your dislikes about him.
He doesn’t behave as per my expectations. If he gets up on time then he will be no 1 student
- This is your expectation.
- Release all your expectations about him and then you discipline him
Each and every matter you need to analyze like this and then take your actions.
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STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part IV
Read part I in the series: https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/how-to-stop-the-mind-influencing-us-part-i/
Part II: “The need for Letting GO” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/the-need-for-letting-go/
Part III: “Letting GO in Action” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/letting-go-in-action/
Your child is not studying
Letting go proves to be very difficult for the mother. Between feelings/emotions and action there is no gap. So she gets angry and scolds him.
Then she will feel guilty and pamper him to appease him. During this process, the purpose of the son to study has been lost.
How to manage such a situation?
Whenever any emotion arises, ask the questions:
- What are the thoughts?
- What is the emotion behind the thought(s)?
- I accept this thought
- Can I release it?
By asking questions, you are creating a gap between thoughts and actions.
Will he study if I release the thought? He has not studied so far anyway.
Try this technique, release your anger and do the action. Then see the results for yourself whether he studies or not.
Why there are communication barriers between mother and son?
Emotions block the communication.
What is the communication required here? He has to listen to us for him to study.
There can be three types of desires here.
Desire to control or change the person
He has to study very hard. He has to become an Engineer and so on.
A framework is present here:
- Release the thought one after another
- Do I want to change this person/child?
- If I say yes, can I release my desire to control the person?
- We are only releasing the desire, and we are not releasing the action here.
- I release my desire to control the person. Only then your anger will go.
Desire for more security – feeling of insecurity
Is there is any desire to feel more secure?
Only if he studies well he will do well and then I will become free.
Where there is fear there is no presence of Divinity. Only Satan is present.
I release my fear.
These desires are born with ego.
Desire for approval
Others should recognize my son’s talent. Others should appreciate us (by appreciating my son’s excellence in his studies). People have to complement us (how well you have brought him up).
Another example where a husband desires his wife should treat him properly when he comes home from office.
Release that desire.
What if she appreciates you or not? You let go the craving for recognition.
More and more you should indulge in releasing thoughts, like a game.
Rule your mind instead of mind ruling you
Now mind is managing your life.
Instead, manage it yourself.
Then you do not need a teacher. You do not need anybody.
Therefore, just let go all the thoughts.
What this technique can do
- Achieving your goals. We are not saying no for achievement. We are only entitled for action and not fruits for the action.
- Keep saying release and go beyond likes and dislikes.
- Breaking bad habits
- Better Health and Wealth
- Good Relationships
- Build better parent and children relationships
- In your career you will be able to do wonders
In entire life, you can let go and release. Everything will happen without your intervention.
Posted in Rule Your Mind
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