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Do this! Problems will be solved automatically!!

Naran

Desire for approval in action

You can list the ways you seek desire for approval:

  • Thank you for your appreciation
  • I don’t want to hurt his feelings
  • I should not reject him
  • If I do this, he will be happy
  • If I do this, he will not get angry

In addition, list the ways by which you allow yourself to be controlled by others or control others – Desire for approval.

You can term it as fear of rejection or disapproval, for example to influence others through Batch Flower Remedies (list this item too).

We have so much desire to control others and events. We use Bach Flower remedies either with a desire to change ourselves or others.

70% of the time we are operating with this desire and may be more, but not less. If we release this desire, most of the problems will be solved by itself!!

Does a person control you?

Naran

He is controlling me. If you think A is trying to control you, then it means you have fear of being controlled.

  • Release the fear of being controlled

Can you release the fear to be controlled?

Why A is controlling you? It is because you have the fear of being controlled.

  • Before releasing the fear welcome it and then accept it.

Whenever he controls you, are you resisting him?

  • Accept your resistance to him and release it.

Do you like to change him?

  • If yes, can you release the desire to change him?

What do you dislike in him?

  • Can you let go this dislike?

You may ask a different question.

What is that you disapprove, or reject/dislike in him?

Can you accept him as he is? If you get “No” then continue the exercise. You will not get an immediate yes, as you have dislikes for him.

Does this person cause fear in you? What will happen if you are standing in front of him? Is there is any feeling of insecurity?

  • Release your feelings of insecurity.
  • Release your feelings of him.

What do you think will happen if you are in front of him? Do you want this fear to happen?  If no, then release it.

  • Can you release this wanting to happen?
  • Release your fear.

How do you protect yourself? Do you show your anger? Do you resist him? Alternatively, do you have the desire to separate from him or go away from him?

  • Release all those desires.

Can you now accept the person as he is? If you get ‘No”, then continue the exercise. Can you have trust in him? Does anyone think that he or she cannot accept him as he is?

Please understand, if you cannot accept him, then he will continue to be in these types of situations. If you do not want to quarrel or lose harmony, you can nullify the charge of emotions by accepting him as he is.

Related Blog

I love to take control of my life: http://wp.me/ptUMq-4D

A SIMPLE technique to make others love you

Before doing anything, before speaking anything, ask yourself, “Will the Divine be happy and bless me if I do this or speak this?”

If you think that the divine will be happy and bless, then you may proceed.

Then you will be loved by one and all.

Why we are doing this exercise?

It makes you to be silent, or to train yourself to be in silence. We cannot know the value of silence.

As you reduce your speech, silence will automatically come. Silence will develop as you stop using unnecessary words.

Lead a Life of No-Karma

The more you try to be silent or reduce your speech you will come out of your karma very easily. The moment you utter a word, you are incurring your karma.

You are not responsible for any word or emotion that is not under your control. If you just say “RELEASE”, the emotion or thought will go.

Instead of doing that, with emotion/thought as your motivating force, if you utter a word or do a thing then you are entering into karma.

When there is conflict or quarrel you have to be very careful in using your words. If we speak unnecessarily it will bounce back on you at a later stage.

(Only here) You should use your analytical mind and restrain from such talks.

The above extract was taken from ‘I Love Myself Workbook’ by Naran S Balakumar

Learn to manage your fears

List out the fears

Think about your unnecessary fears and worries (over which you cannot do anything).

You list out all those fears.

Release them one by one.

Why fear should not be there?

Then fear will not allow you to love yourself.

How that fears can be removed?

You have to address one fear at a time and say:

  • “I AM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME FIND DIVINE LOVE”  (or)
  • “I AM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME FIND DIVINE FIBER”.

Meaning of the Switch Word Fiber

“FIND DIVINE FIBRE” means regain the courage in me or regain the trust in me.

When you get fear chant this, “FIND DIVINE FIBER”.

Switch Word Fiber creates a movement, while fear will stop it. 

One door closes Another door opens

Tanu

I and my boy-friend broke up last year though we love each other even now.

It all happened because of his friends as they cropped up misunderstandings between us. And he isn’t able to see that.

And I know he doesn’t have that much of courage to tell me that he still loves me. I really want to get back together with him.

Naran

Leave him!!!

Tanu

Then please suggest me something so that I forget him easily as I am trying to get over him. But, as we work at the same place, it’s really difficult for me to see him every time everywhere around me and that turns me off.

And I am full of sad feelings.

Or tell me how I can get my real soul mate.

Naran

I could understand your pangs of love.

Only for your highest good I suggested that.

I honestly feel that you should lead a happy life.

Can everybody be happy?

One has to learn to be happy in spite of events.

When we want something intently, and when we resist what is happening then what we get is pain. Though we want pleasure, our resistance to any event and our incomplete understanding of the divine order, gives us pain only.

Just observe what is going on in the mind.

  • As and when any thought come, just say, “Why not I release this? Yes, I let go of this thought?”
  • Release everything – every feeling, every thought – that prevents you to forget him.
  • If any thought or feeling does not get released, find out the desire behind this feeling or thought. If there is a desire to possess him release that desire.
  • If there is a desire to change him or the event release that desire too.

Do the releasing techniques as given above.

Other steps

If you can buy Bach flower remedies from your local homeopathy shop then buy:

  • CHICORY (to overcome the love pangs)
  • WALNUT (to release resistance and break away )
  • WILLOW (to overcome resentment and anger towards friends)
  • HORNBEAM (to move on)

Take those flower remedies by putting 6 pills of each in a bottle of water and keep on sipping that water from morning to evening.

Do this sipping for 15 days.

Put the pills once every day.

 

Release Your Spouse Qualities

Client

 “My wife is very possessive and highly interfering”.

Naran

Take one quality of your wife at a time.

Assume that quality is within you. In fact, you will be having those qualities inside you. That’s why you have attracted her to you.

Now, do the following, taking one quality a day:

  1. First day: “I release my interfering nature to Chicory.” Keeping this intention in mind, chant “CHICORY”.
  2. Second day:  “I release my possessive nature to Chicory”.  Chant “CHICORY”.
  3. Third day: “I release my insecurities to Chicory”. Chant “CHICORY”.

While doing the above exercise, please do the following too:

  1. Be sure to thank the opposite person for revealing the inadequacies and shortcomings inside you.
  2. Reflect on your past, find out whether you have exhibited these qualities towards others, and then release them to Chicory.

This does not mean that there is no place for emotions in life. However, they should be used as different tool and then they had to be let go. There is place for anger too, but if it not forgotten or released then it becomes a rancor.

 

Obsession Will Not Make It Happen

Naran

If you are obsessed of anything, it may not happen. I want you to change your mind-set and be relaxed.

Oli

I am always scared of losing my love. I know I became obsessed and I really try to be relaxed and leave it to divine.

However, I get impatient as I lost my first love like this.  That’s why I think it is going to happen again.

Naran

Whenever you get the fear just say within, “Why this fear”?

The mind always has a tendency to think and feel as it did in the past.

The event may be new. The feelings and thoughts are never new. The same feelings and the same thoughts are produced every day.

As long as we think that we are mute spectators of events, we cannot do anything.

You are not your mind. When it produces some feeling or thought, which you don’t like, you have the ability to release it.

When a feeling arises, or when a thought comes out, just say:

  •          Can I release this thought?
  •          Why should I keep this thought?
  •          Is this thought helping me or hindering me?
  •          If it hinders me, can I release it?
  •          If the answer is “yes” say, “I release this thought.”

Say this as many times as possible so that you are out of the fear.

This method will help you come out of fear.

Fear always manifests what you don’t want in life.

Oli

You have told me not to be obsessed and to relax. But how can I able to know my limits? Can’t I have right to express my feeling? Can’t I pray or try to regain my lost harmony between us?

I am chanting mantras with full faith on divine. How can I know that there is still a hope? Because we are neither astrologer nor we can talk to divine.

I am going to say my feeling to him tomorrow after chanting OM CHAM NAMAHA OM JAM NAMAHA.

Naran

When you are obsessed with worry and fear you are breaking the quantum rules.

Your fear will manifest the one which you don’t want, instead of getting what you want.

Desire something. Quieten your mind, relax and release it to the divine field.

Approaching anything with the calm and relaxed mind has got better chance of getting what we want.

How to remain calm and relaxed?

That is where the surrendering attitude enters. By surrendering the desire to the divine field, you accept what the divine offers. Surrendering makes you think that whatever divine offer is good for me.

 

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