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Do this! Problems will be solved automatically!!

Naran

Desire for approval in action

You can list the ways you seek desire for approval:

  • Thank you for your appreciation
  • I don’t want to hurt his feelings
  • I should not reject him
  • If I do this, he will be happy
  • If I do this, he will not get angry

In addition, list the ways by which you allow yourself to be controlled by others or control others – Desire for approval.

You can term it as fear of rejection or disapproval, for example to influence others through Batch Flower Remedies (list this item too).

We have so much desire to control others and events. We use Bach Flower remedies either with a desire to change ourselves or others.

70% of the time we are operating with this desire and may be more, but not less. If we release this desire, most of the problems will be solved by itself!!

Does a person control you?

Naran

He is controlling me. If you think A is trying to control you, then it means you have fear of being controlled.

  • Release the fear of being controlled

Can you release the fear to be controlled?

Why A is controlling you? It is because you have the fear of being controlled.

  • Before releasing the fear welcome it and then accept it.

Whenever he controls you, are you resisting him?

  • Accept your resistance to him and release it.

Do you like to change him?

  • If yes, can you release the desire to change him?

What do you dislike in him?

  • Can you let go this dislike?

You may ask a different question.

What is that you disapprove, or reject/dislike in him?

Can you accept him as he is? If you get “No” then continue the exercise. You will not get an immediate yes, as you have dislikes for him.

Does this person cause fear in you? What will happen if you are standing in front of him? Is there is any feeling of insecurity?

  • Release your feelings of insecurity.
  • Release your feelings of him.

What do you think will happen if you are in front of him? Do you want this fear to happen?  If no, then release it.

  • Can you release this wanting to happen?
  • Release your fear.

How do you protect yourself? Do you show your anger? Do you resist him? Alternatively, do you have the desire to separate from him or go away from him?

  • Release all those desires.

Can you now accept the person as he is? If you get ‘No”, then continue the exercise. Can you have trust in him? Does anyone think that he or she cannot accept him as he is?

Please understand, if you cannot accept him, then he will continue to be in these types of situations. If you do not want to quarrel or lose harmony, you can nullify the charge of emotions by accepting him as he is.

Related Blog

I love to take control of my life: http://wp.me/ptUMq-4D

Likes and Dislikes

Naran

How liking for a person operates inside the mind?

Take one person what you like about him and what you don’t like about him, say your spouse for example.

You have a liking for the person. What is the desire operating behind this like?

For some reason you like him. Whoever listens to us we like them. If somebody argues with us, even if they tell the truth we don’t like them.

Therefore, when we like somebody we have to like him for some reason. It could be based on desire for approval or desire to associate.

  • Therefore, shall we say, ‘I release my desire to like him’.

Because we have desire to possess, when that person is around, we feel happy.

When they go away from us, then we do not feel happy and start hating that person.

Did you release the liking for that person? We are not sure, so we are not releasing it.

When you release your likes about a person, everything will go on well between you and the concerned person. Love will get stronger.

  • Release all your likes and dislike for the same person.

How does dislike operates?

If they are like this, then I am happy about them. Thus, a desire to control or change the person operates here.

  • Therefore, welcome your dislike and release your dislike.
  • Then accept your desire to control and release it as well.

Positive vs. Negative thoughts

A thought is a thought. Who says it is positive?

We say so as judging, categorizing, good or bad, likes and dislikes, it is the creation of the human mind.

For the divinity there is no judgment at all. It doesn’t judge that this is positive and that is negative.

So good thought or bad thought, everything has to be released.

Only when you do so, then only you will find what real happiness is. That is Sat Chit Ananda Roopini (goddess of ever-green-joy).

However, even to feel the Sat Chit Anandam (ever-green-joy), one should have the grace of that energy.

Unless we have the grace of the divine, we cannot do any action and move forward in life. At the same time unless we take the action, divine grace will not come. Both are dependent on each other.

We are not doing anything new

There is nothing like past. Analyze your life now. Analyze your emotions and relationships now.

This is what you did in the previous Janma. If you do analyze and release the present situation, that means you are also handling the karma efficiently.

We are not doing anything new. Whatever we have done so far is the continuation of the previous life(s).

Then how to deviate or overlook the karma?

When you start thinking differently about a particular issue then your past life karma will not have any effect on you, because you are going on a different path.

Thinking differently and behaving differently in a situation is very important.

If somebody is having a contrary opinion to you, our normal nature is to resist it or have a judgment about that person. Then how to go about it differently?

It means, “Yes that person is telling his views. I have my own views. I appreciate his views and let him have his views and let me not try to change it either”.

In that manner, you mend your ways and deviate from the past. For each and every behavior, find out how you behaved in the past and deviate from that. Then you are not re-living your past.

Only when you are not reliving your past then only you can create a new future.

That is another subject called as ‘Past-Life Healing’.

Fighting for Happiness and Success

ALAMELU

As you said do not resist allow things to happen!!

How cannot we resist – myself verge of losing job – hubby not yet got job – severe mental stress killing me very badly. How I allow myself not to feel stressed. Please let me know?

Naran

When you are on the verge of losing the job, will your worry or fear get the job back?

If so, have fear and worry.

Your fear and worry or anger is what is known as Resistance.

When you accept what is happening, you may see and utilize other avenues.

A message is received (from the incident why you lost the job).

Instead of being overtaken by the rush of emotions and thoughts, and becoming judgmental about what is happening (which is of no use), go within and watch your reaction.

Say, Yes I accept this emotion. I release this.

Go on releasing whatever thought comes to your mind.

After sometime, analyze why this emotion or these types of thoughts come.

Ask yourself is it because of your desire to change the event?

If the answer is yes, say, I release my desire to control or change what is happening.

Ask another question.

Are all the emotions because of fear?

Whatever we fear will manifest.

Say, releasing this fear, I release my desire for security.

Then when the mind is almost clear of restlessness, start chanting “I accept whatever happens totally”.

Check out the “RELEASE your RESISTANCE” CD, which will help you to release your resistance to find happiness and success in life: http://naranhealingproducts.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/release-your-resistance-cd/

Managing a stubborn person

Student

My son has a resistance to work. He will go late to office. He was warned three times.

One day he decides to go to office in casual wear. Even though I warned him, he didn’t want to listen to me.

Then, I decided to affirm, ‘I release my desire to change or control him’.

Naran

You have affirmed correctly. Please do it as many times as you can.

On and off our mind will not keep quiet. So we need to release our desire to control or change somebody.

Moving to a new location

Let us say, you want to come to Chennai.

Release your likes about Chennai then only you can come to Chennai.

  • I release my likes for Chennai.

I like Chennai because of my liking to Hotel Saravana Bavan and Marina Beach in Chennai.

I accept my liking for Chennai.

Then, I release my liking for Chennai.

  • I release my dislikes for Chennai.

I dislike Chennai, because of auto drivers, and it is very dirty.

What’s the desire that operates here?

There is a desire to control and to change it. For example, we say, ‘If I am given power, I will change it in no time’.

Here, we are only releasing the desires (or dislikes).

Likewise you can do the same when you are moving to a foreign country.

Release both your likes and dislikes related about a situation you wanted to change.

Failed to change my child’s behaviour

You want to control your child’s behavior. Instead of studying, he is watching the TV all the time.

  • First say, “I release my desire to control him”. Then advise him.

Why? If you tell him anything with judgment, then he will never listen to you for sure.

How do we control our children? They have to be punctual, eat healthy, study well etc.

Thus, we control all their activities because we think they are to be corrected. We don’t allow them to grow in their own way.

  • What will happen if we don’t tell them so?

If I don’t tell him then he won’t go to school.

  • There is a fear he won’t go to school.
  • So I release the fear that he won’t go to school.
  • What will happen if he doesn’t go to school? Nothing will happen.

I have a responsibility as a mother. Other people should say that my child is a good child.

  • Say, “I release my desire for approval”.
  • In addition, say, “I release my desire to control him”.
  • Release all the desires and then discipline him.
  • There are three basic desires that are operating within us – desire to control, desire to get approval and desire for security.

Even if I wake him up, he doesn’t get up.

  • How do you exercise your control with him? By getting angry with him, you are exercising your control over him.
  • Release that.
  • What’s that you don’t like about him? You dislike him because he is getting up late.
  • Release your dislikes about him.

He doesn’t behave as per my expectations. If he gets up on time then he will be no 1 student

  • This is your expectation.
  • Release all your expectations about him  and then you discipline him

Each and every matter you need to analyze like this and then take your actions. 

Rule your MIND! Rule your LIFE!!

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part IV

Read part I in the series:  https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/how-to-stop-the-mind-influencing-us-part-i/

Part II: “The need for Letting GO” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/the-need-for-letting-go/

Part III: “Letting GO in Action”https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/letting-go-in-action/

Your child is not studying

Letting go proves to be very difficult for the mother.  Between feelings/emotions and action there is no gap. So she gets angry and scolds him.

Then she will feel guilty and pamper him to appease him. During this process, the purpose of the son to study has been lost.

How to manage such a situation?

Whenever any emotion arises, ask the questions:

  • What are the thoughts?
  • What is the emotion behind the thought(s)?
  • I accept this thought
  • Can I release it?

By asking questions, you are creating a gap between thoughts and actions.

Will he study if I release the thought? He has not studied so far anyway.

Try this technique, release your anger and do the action. Then see the results for yourself whether he studies or not.

Why there are communication barriers between mother and son?

Emotions block the communication.

What is the communication required here? He has to listen to us for him to study.

There can be three types of desires here.

Desire to control or change the person

He has to study very hard. He has to become an Engineer and so on.

A framework is present here:

  • Release the thought one after another
  • Do I want to change this person/child?
  • If I say yes, can I release my desire to control the person?
  • We are only releasing the desire, and we are not releasing the action here.
  • I release my desire to control the person. Only then your anger will go.

Desire for more security – feeling of insecurity

Is there is any desire to feel more secure?

Only if he studies well he will do well and then I will become free.

Where there is fear there is no presence of Divinity. Only Satan is present.

I release my fear.

These desires are born with ego.

Desire for approval

Others should recognize my son’s talent. Others should appreciate us (by appreciating my son’s excellence in his studies). People have to complement us (how well you have brought him up).

Another example where a husband desires his wife should treat him properly when he comes home from office.

Release that desire.

What if she appreciates you or not? You let go the craving for recognition.

More and more you should indulge in releasing thoughts, like a game.

Rule your mind instead of mind ruling you

Now mind is managing your life.

Instead, manage it yourself.

Then you do not need a teacher. You do not need anybody.

Therefore, just let go all the thoughts.

What this technique can do

  • Achieving your goals. We are not saying no for achievement. We are only entitled for action and not fruits for the action.
  • Keep saying release and go beyond likes and dislikes.
  • Decision-making
  • Breaking bad habits
  • Better Health and Wealth
  • Good Relationships
  • Build better parent and children relationships
  • In your career you will be able to do wonders

In entire life, you can let go and release. Everything will happen without your intervention.

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part I

“You are entitled to action only. This is the Law of Karma. Leave the fruit to me” – says Krishna.

A simple way to implement it

Living with Awareness is an important subject. If you apply this technique, you do not need attend lectures on Bhagavat Gita.

Living with awareness is a life process. If it is done regularly, it can change our lives significantly.

Do it systematically.

Play it like a game. Do not think it as an exercise.

To put it simple, you release all thoughts and feelings prior to action.

Releasing thoughts associated with an action

You get a phone call.

We assume it is a bad call.

We think and get irritated, why I should get such calls during late nights.

Can you release this irritation? Affirm, “I let go this irritation”.

Our actions are contaminated with unwanted thoughts

Whenever you are about to perform an action, it is preceded by thoughts.

Release those thoughts.

That’s does not mean you are prevented from doing the action. You just do the action.

Then you are in the present – without any thought, and only doing actions.

If some other thoughts come, tell them, “You can come later. This is not the time for you now.”

If you do any action, without any thought or feeling, then its 100 percent completed.

You are entitled only to act

You are not entitled to think or feel before an action.

If you tell the thought to go, it will go.

After the action, if the results are not to our expectations, we will comment badly about concerned people. We will remark, “I wasted so much time with them”.

Affirm then, “I release the thought. I let go this thought.”

When you put a counter thought like this, the mind gets confused as it cannot continuously change its thought flow or pattern.

After releasing all the thoughts that appears in your mind, comes the time for your action(s).

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