He is controlling me. If you think A is trying to control you, then it means you have fear of being controlled.
- Release the fear of being controlled
Can you release the fear to be controlled?
Why A is controlling you? It is because you have the fear of being controlled.
- Before releasing the fear welcome it and then accept it.
Whenever he controls you, are you resisting him?
- Accept your resistance to him and release it.
Do you like to change him?
- If yes, can you release the desire to change him?
What do you dislike in him?
- Can you let go this dislike?
You may ask a different question.
What is that you disapprove, or reject/dislike in him?
Can you accept him as he is? If you get “No” then continue the exercise. You will not get an immediate yes, as you have dislikes for him.
Does this person cause fear in you? What will happen if you are standing in front of him? Is there is any feeling of insecurity?
- Release your feelings of insecurity.
- Release your feelings of him.
What do you think will happen if you are in front of him? Do you want this fear to happen? If no, then release it.
- Can you release this wanting to happen?
- Release your fear.
How do you protect yourself? Do you show your anger? Do you resist him? Alternatively, do you have the desire to separate from him or go away from him?
- Release all those desires.
Can you now accept the person as he is? If you get ‘No”, then continue the exercise. Can you have trust in him? Does anyone think that he or she cannot accept him as he is?
Please understand, if you cannot accept him, then he will continue to be in these types of situations. If you do not want to quarrel or lose harmony, you can nullify the charge of emotions by accepting him as he is.
I love to take control of my life: http://wp.me/ptUMq-4D
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Brain is the hardware of the mind. The brain always stores memories of the people we like, in one compartment, and the people we do not like in another compartment.
At the same time, we come across people who are neutral to us, to whom we have no likes or dislikes. They do not have a participation in our life. They will be kept in a different compartment of the brain.
Remove the dislike for the person
- Visualize a white screen in front of you.
- Close your eyes. Use your hands and do it.
- Where is the person whom you like? They will be in one place.
- Find out where the person you dislike are stored inside your brain. You will get a feeling in some part of your brain.
- Find out where neutral compartment people are.
- Move the person you dislike to neutral place.
Repeat the exercise over a few days or weeks until you can release the dislike for the person disliked.
Do the releasing first
Do not do this without doing the releasing technique first as you should know how much your feelings and desires are responsible for disharmony caused.
Automatically, the other person you hate will go from you. Even if he is present, you will not be afraid that he can control you. He will not be in your life to control you anymore.
Therefore, you can concentrate on something else. The NLP exercise will reduce our dislikes, but we have to release first. Do this on a daily basis.
We should remove our arrogance, feelings and our demanding nature. If you don’t expect positive feelings of release, then do the NLP technique
Why did I select the third compartment?
One can accept the person totally after doing releasing techniques. There is no doubt about that.
Though, if we see that person again, we won’t know what to do. If we put them in a neutral compartment, then we will accept them easily. Therefore, you should not give up on ‘RULE your MIND’ techniques.
Neutral compartment will help us in accepting a person.
There is no Second Chance in Marriage: http://wp.me/ptUoU-1j
The Driver for Relationships: http://wp.me/ptUHD-3E
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Before doing anything, before speaking anything, ask yourself, “Will the Divine be happy and bless me if I do this or speak this?”
If you think that the divine will be happy and bless, then you may proceed.
Then you will be loved by one and all.
Why we are doing this exercise?
It makes you to be silent, or to train yourself to be in silence. We cannot know the value of silence.
As you reduce your speech, silence will automatically come. Silence will develop as you stop using unnecessary words.
Lead a Life of No-Karma
The more you try to be silent or reduce your speech you will come out of your karma very easily. The moment you utter a word, you are incurring your karma.
You are not responsible for any word or emotion that is not under your control. If you just say “RELEASE”, the emotion or thought will go.
Instead of doing that, with emotion/thought as your motivating force, if you utter a word or do a thing then you are entering into karma.
When there is conflict or quarrel you have to be very careful in using your words. If we speak unnecessarily it will bounce back on you at a later stage.
(Only here) You should use your analytical mind and restrain from such talks.
The above extract was taken from ‘I Love Myself Workbook’ by Naran S Balakumar
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How liking for a person operates inside the mind?
Take one person what you like about him and what you don’t like about him, say your spouse for example.
You have a liking for the person. What is the desire operating behind this like?
For some reason you like him. Whoever listens to us we like them. If somebody argues with us, even if they tell the truth we don’t like them.
Therefore, when we like somebody we have to like him for some reason. It could be based on desire for approval or desire to associate.
- Therefore, shall we say, ‘I release my desire to like him’.
Because we have desire to possess, when that person is around, we feel happy.
When they go away from us, then we do not feel happy and start hating that person.
Did you release the liking for that person? We are not sure, so we are not releasing it.
When you release your likes about a person, everything will go on well between you and the concerned person. Love will get stronger.
- Release all your likes and dislike for the same person.
How does dislike operates?
If they are like this, then I am happy about them. Thus, a desire to control or change the person operates here.
- Therefore, welcome your dislike and release your dislike.
- Then accept your desire to control and release it as well.
Posted in Rule Your Mind
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As you said do not resist allow things to happen!!
How cannot we resist – myself verge of losing job – hubby not yet got job – severe mental stress killing me very badly. How I allow myself not to feel stressed. Please let me know?
When you are on the verge of losing the job, will your worry or fear get the job back?
If so, have fear and worry.
Your fear and worry or anger is what is known as Resistance.
When you accept what is happening, you may see and utilize other avenues.
A message is received (from the incident why you lost the job).
Instead of being overtaken by the rush of emotions and thoughts, and becoming judgmental about what is happening (which is of no use), go within and watch your reaction.
Say, Yes I accept this emotion. I release this.
Go on releasing whatever thought comes to your mind.
After sometime, analyze why this emotion or these types of thoughts come.
Ask yourself is it because of your desire to change the event?
If the answer is yes, say, I release my desire to control or change what is happening.
Ask another question.
Are all the emotions because of fear?
Whatever we fear will manifest.
Say, releasing this fear, I release my desire for security.
Then when the mind is almost clear of restlessness, start chanting “I accept whatever happens totally”.
Check out the “RELEASE your RESISTANCE” CD, which will help you to release your resistance to find happiness and success in life: http://naranhealingproducts.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/release-your-resistance-cd/
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My son has a resistance to work. He will go late to office. He was warned three times.
One day he decides to go to office in casual wear. Even though I warned him, he didn’t want to listen to me.
Then, I decided to affirm, ‘I release my desire to change or control him’.
You have affirmed correctly. Please do it as many times as you can.
On and off our mind will not keep quiet. So we need to release our desire to control or change somebody.
Let us say, you want to come to Chennai.
Release your likes about Chennai then only you can come to Chennai.
- I release my likes for Chennai.
I like Chennai because of my liking to Hotel Saravana Bavan and Marina Beach in Chennai.
I accept my liking for Chennai.
Then, I release my liking for Chennai.
- I release my dislikes for Chennai.
I dislike Chennai, because of auto drivers, and it is very dirty.
What’s the desire that operates here?
There is a desire to control and to change it. For example, we say, ‘If I am given power, I will change it in no time’.
Here, we are only releasing the desires (or dislikes).
Likewise you can do the same when you are moving to a foreign country.
Release both your likes and dislikes related about a situation you wanted to change.
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You want to control your child’s behavior. Instead of studying, he is watching the TV all the time.
- First say, “I release my desire to control him”. Then advise him.
Why? If you tell him anything with judgment, then he will never listen to you for sure.
How do we control our children? They have to be punctual, eat healthy, study well etc.
Thus, we control all their activities because we think they are to be corrected. We don’t allow them to grow in their own way.
- What will happen if we don’t tell them so?
If I don’t tell him then he won’t go to school.
- There is a fear he won’t go to school.
- So I release the fear that he won’t go to school.
- What will happen if he doesn’t go to school? Nothing will happen.
I have a responsibility as a mother. Other people should say that my child is a good child.
- Say, “I release my desire for approval”.
- In addition, say, “I release my desire to control him”.
- Release all the desires and then discipline him.
- There are three basic desires that are operating within us – desire to control, desire to get approval and desire for security.
Even if I wake him up, he doesn’t get up.
- How do you exercise your control with him? By getting angry with him, you are exercising your control over him.
- Release that.
- What’s that you don’t like about him? You dislike him because he is getting up late.
- Release your dislikes about him.
He doesn’t behave as per my expectations. If he gets up on time then he will be no 1 student
- This is your expectation.
- Release all your expectations about him and then you discipline him
Each and every matter you need to analyze like this and then take your actions.
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STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part IV
Read part I in the series: https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/how-to-stop-the-mind-influencing-us-part-i/
Part II: “The need for Letting GO” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/the-need-for-letting-go/
Part III: “Letting GO in Action” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/letting-go-in-action/
Your child is not studying
Letting go proves to be very difficult for the mother. Between feelings/emotions and action there is no gap. So she gets angry and scolds him.
Then she will feel guilty and pamper him to appease him. During this process, the purpose of the son to study has been lost.
How to manage such a situation?
Whenever any emotion arises, ask the questions:
- What are the thoughts?
- What is the emotion behind the thought(s)?
- I accept this thought
- Can I release it?
By asking questions, you are creating a gap between thoughts and actions.
Will he study if I release the thought? He has not studied so far anyway.
Try this technique, release your anger and do the action. Then see the results for yourself whether he studies or not.
Why there are communication barriers between mother and son?
Emotions block the communication.
What is the communication required here? He has to listen to us for him to study.
There can be three types of desires here.
Desire to control or change the person
He has to study very hard. He has to become an Engineer and so on.
A framework is present here:
- Release the thought one after another
- Do I want to change this person/child?
- If I say yes, can I release my desire to control the person?
- We are only releasing the desire, and we are not releasing the action here.
- I release my desire to control the person. Only then your anger will go.
Desire for more security – feeling of insecurity
Is there is any desire to feel more secure?
Only if he studies well he will do well and then I will become free.
Where there is fear there is no presence of Divinity. Only Satan is present.
I release my fear.
These desires are born with ego.
Desire for approval
Others should recognize my son’s talent. Others should appreciate us (by appreciating my son’s excellence in his studies). People have to complement us (how well you have brought him up).
Another example where a husband desires his wife should treat him properly when he comes home from office.
Release that desire.
What if she appreciates you or not? You let go the craving for recognition.
More and more you should indulge in releasing thoughts, like a game.
Rule your mind instead of mind ruling you
Now mind is managing your life.
Instead, manage it yourself.
Then you do not need a teacher. You do not need anybody.
Therefore, just let go all the thoughts.
What this technique can do
- Achieving your goals. We are not saying no for achievement. We are only entitled for action and not fruits for the action.
- Keep saying release and go beyond likes and dislikes.
- Breaking bad habits
- Better Health and Wealth
- Good Relationships
- Build better parent and children relationships
- In your career you will be able to do wonders
In entire life, you can let go and release. Everything will happen without your intervention.
Posted in Rule Your Mind
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