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Does a person control you?

Naran

He is controlling me. If you think A is trying to control you, then it means you have fear of being controlled.

  • Release the fear of being controlled

Can you release the fear to be controlled?

Why A is controlling you? It is because you have the fear of being controlled.

  • Before releasing the fear welcome it and then accept it.

Whenever he controls you, are you resisting him?

  • Accept your resistance to him and release it.

Do you like to change him?

  • If yes, can you release the desire to change him?

What do you dislike in him?

  • Can you let go this dislike?

You may ask a different question.

What is that you disapprove, or reject/dislike in him?

Can you accept him as he is? If you get “No” then continue the exercise. You will not get an immediate yes, as you have dislikes for him.

Does this person cause fear in you? What will happen if you are standing in front of him? Is there is any feeling of insecurity?

  • Release your feelings of insecurity.
  • Release your feelings of him.

What do you think will happen if you are in front of him? Do you want this fear to happen?  If no, then release it.

  • Can you release this wanting to happen?
  • Release your fear.

How do you protect yourself? Do you show your anger? Do you resist him? Alternatively, do you have the desire to separate from him or go away from him?

  • Release all those desires.

Can you now accept the person as he is? If you get ‘No”, then continue the exercise. Can you have trust in him? Does anyone think that he or she cannot accept him as he is?

Please understand, if you cannot accept him, then he will continue to be in these types of situations. If you do not want to quarrel or lose harmony, you can nullify the charge of emotions by accepting him as he is.

Related Blog

I love to take control of my life: http://wp.me/ptUMq-4D

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NLP for accepting a bad relationship

Naran

Brain is the hardware of the mind. The brain always stores memories of the people we like, in one compartment, and the people we do not like in another compartment.

At the same time, we come across people who are neutral to us, to whom we have no likes or dislikes. They do not have a participation in our life. They will be kept in a different compartment of the brain.

Remove the dislike for the person

  • Visualize a white screen in front of you.
  • Close your eyes. Use your hands and do it.
  • Where is the person whom you like? They will be in one place.
  • Find out where the person you dislike are stored inside your brain. You will get a feeling in some part of your brain.
  • Find out where neutral compartment people are.
  • Move the person you dislike to neutral place.

Repeat the exercise over a few days or weeks until you can release the dislike for the person disliked.

Do the releasing first

Do not do this without doing the releasing technique first as you should know how much your feelings and desires are responsible for disharmony caused.

Automatically, the other person you hate will go from you.  Even if he is present, you will not be afraid that he can control you. He will not be in your life to control you anymore.

Therefore, you can concentrate on something else. The NLP exercise will reduce our dislikes, but we have to release first.  Do this on a daily basis.

We should remove our arrogance, feelings and our demanding nature. If you don’t expect positive feelings of release, then do the NLP technique

Why did I select the third compartment?

One can accept the person totally after doing releasing techniques. There is no doubt about that.

Though, if we see that person again, we won’t know what to do. If we put them in a neutral compartment, then we will accept them easily.  Therefore, you should not give up on ‘RULE your MIND’ techniques.

Neutral compartment will help us in accepting a person.

Related blogs

There is no Second Chance in Marriage: http://wp.me/ptUoU-1j

The Driver for Relationships: http://wp.me/ptUHD-3E

Magic mantra – every day, week and month

RD

Referring the article: https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/03/02/moving-to-a-new-location/

I am amazed reading this, as today I was reading old articles of 2009. I was filled with eagerness to learn more and regret that I “wasted” my last four years.

Then I started repeating:

  • “I release my desire to learn more”,
  • “I release regrets of the past”
  • “I accept the present”.

Soon my frame of mind was positive and cheerful again!!

This is a magic mantra. All day now, I repeat this for all things! And finding myself closer and closer to the person I was – before all the stressful life events (happened to me).

From RULE your MIND Workshop notes

1. Release the emotions you felt during the day

Do this exercise for all of them – taking one emotion at a time. Even if it is a positive feeling, release that. Find out the state of the mind and do the steps:

  • “I welcome this state”,
  • “I accept it”
  • “Can I release that?”

Even if it is a negative emotion (or feeling) like anger, you release it.

Whatever that does not go, write it in a notebook and continue to work on it, until it goes.

2. Release emotions felt during the last one week

What are the predominant emotions you had? During last seven days what incidents happened? What emotions you felt?

Welcome each one of them, accept them and release them by keep saying,” I release, I release”.

3. Repeat the exercise for last one month

Are you able to remember any emotions? Are there are any emotion still persisting? When I say emotions, I mean not just negative emotions but also positive emotions.

A SIMPLE technique to make others love you

Before doing anything, before speaking anything, ask yourself, “Will the Divine be happy and bless me if I do this or speak this?”

If you think that the divine will be happy and bless, then you may proceed.

Then you will be loved by one and all.

Why we are doing this exercise?

It makes you to be silent, or to train yourself to be in silence. We cannot know the value of silence.

As you reduce your speech, silence will automatically come. Silence will develop as you stop using unnecessary words.

Lead a Life of No-Karma

The more you try to be silent or reduce your speech you will come out of your karma very easily. The moment you utter a word, you are incurring your karma.

You are not responsible for any word or emotion that is not under your control. If you just say “RELEASE”, the emotion or thought will go.

Instead of doing that, with emotion/thought as your motivating force, if you utter a word or do a thing then you are entering into karma.

When there is conflict or quarrel you have to be very careful in using your words. If we speak unnecessarily it will bounce back on you at a later stage.

(Only here) You should use your analytical mind and restrain from such talks.

The above extract was taken from ‘I Love Myself Workbook’ by Naran S Balakumar

React! But Release First!!

Deepa

Refer the blog: http://dare2doit.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/typical-indian-mentality/

You will say neutral. I say balanced.

One lady called mummy said nasty things about you on blog and I was aghast for a few minutes.

I did your rule “exercise”.

Later, saw coolly how you tackle everything and everyone!!

Naran

In fact, before replying to Mummy, I did the same.

I am glad you have done it too.

Please read the blog, I have written based on the action I took after I read Mummy’s comments: http://healbybachflowers.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/denying-pleasures/

This is the message I want to give it for one and all:

  1. We are entitled to act and not react.
  2. Release your emotions, beliefs, and thoughts as well as the desires operating behind them and then act.
  3. This way your actions will not be based on past memories, but on reality.

Failed to change my child’s behaviour

You want to control your child’s behavior. Instead of studying, he is watching the TV all the time.

  • First say, “I release my desire to control him”. Then advise him.

Why? If you tell him anything with judgment, then he will never listen to you for sure.

How do we control our children? They have to be punctual, eat healthy, study well etc.

Thus, we control all their activities because we think they are to be corrected. We don’t allow them to grow in their own way.

  • What will happen if we don’t tell them so?

If I don’t tell him then he won’t go to school.

  • There is a fear he won’t go to school.
  • So I release the fear that he won’t go to school.
  • What will happen if he doesn’t go to school? Nothing will happen.

I have a responsibility as a mother. Other people should say that my child is a good child.

  • Say, “I release my desire for approval”.
  • In addition, say, “I release my desire to control him”.
  • Release all the desires and then discipline him.
  • There are three basic desires that are operating within us – desire to control, desire to get approval and desire for security.

Even if I wake him up, he doesn’t get up.

  • How do you exercise your control with him? By getting angry with him, you are exercising your control over him.
  • Release that.
  • What’s that you don’t like about him? You dislike him because he is getting up late.
  • Release your dislikes about him.

He doesn’t behave as per my expectations. If he gets up on time then he will be no 1 student

  • This is your expectation.
  • Release all your expectations about him  and then you discipline him

Each and every matter you need to analyze like this and then take your actions. 

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part I

“You are entitled to action only. This is the Law of Karma. Leave the fruit to me” – says Krishna.

A simple way to implement it

Living with Awareness is an important subject. If you apply this technique, you do not need attend lectures on Bhagavat Gita.

Living with awareness is a life process. If it is done regularly, it can change our lives significantly.

Do it systematically.

Play it like a game. Do not think it as an exercise.

To put it simple, you release all thoughts and feelings prior to action.

Releasing thoughts associated with an action

You get a phone call.

We assume it is a bad call.

We think and get irritated, why I should get such calls during late nights.

Can you release this irritation? Affirm, “I let go this irritation”.

Our actions are contaminated with unwanted thoughts

Whenever you are about to perform an action, it is preceded by thoughts.

Release those thoughts.

That’s does not mean you are prevented from doing the action. You just do the action.

Then you are in the present – without any thought, and only doing actions.

If some other thoughts come, tell them, “You can come later. This is not the time for you now.”

If you do any action, without any thought or feeling, then its 100 percent completed.

You are entitled only to act

You are not entitled to think or feel before an action.

If you tell the thought to go, it will go.

After the action, if the results are not to our expectations, we will comment badly about concerned people. We will remark, “I wasted so much time with them”.

Affirm then, “I release the thought. I let go this thought.”

When you put a counter thought like this, the mind gets confused as it cannot continuously change its thought flow or pattern.

After releasing all the thoughts that appears in your mind, comes the time for your action(s).

Release Your Spouse Qualities

Client

 “My wife is very possessive and highly interfering”.

Naran

Take one quality of your wife at a time.

Assume that quality is within you. In fact, you will be having those qualities inside you. That’s why you have attracted her to you.

Now, do the following, taking one quality a day:

  1. First day: “I release my interfering nature to Chicory.” Keeping this intention in mind, chant “CHICORY”.
  2. Second day:  “I release my possessive nature to Chicory”.  Chant “CHICORY”.
  3. Third day: “I release my insecurities to Chicory”. Chant “CHICORY”.

While doing the above exercise, please do the following too:

  1. Be sure to thank the opposite person for revealing the inadequacies and shortcomings inside you.
  2. Reflect on your past, find out whether you have exhibited these qualities towards others, and then release them to Chicory.

This does not mean that there is no place for emotions in life. However, they should be used as different tool and then they had to be let go. There is place for anger too, but if it not forgotten or released then it becomes a rancor.

 

Be Aware! Be Alert! Release the Emotions and Thoughts behind every Incident or Event

Dear Naran,

I, along with several other people attended the class last Saturday on Living with Awareness. Before I left home, my younger son had excitedly asked me what class I was attending. I’d said it was a class by my Bach Flowers Teacher, and I was going to learn more ways to help myself and everyone at home.

The class actually started with me wondering about what the workshop was all about. During the initial explanation on how the class can empower us to handle life situations, you asked someone to share a recent incident that has caused stress.

Not really looking for answers, but curious to see where this might lead, I was the person who shared my worry over misplacing a receipt from the laundry service where my husband’s expensive suit was given. I did not exaggerate.  This suit was more expensive than my wedding sari and wedding reception sari combined!! Why we had to spend so much money on a suit was a thought that crossed my mind, but right then I had to find the receipt or forever I would feel terrible about my carelessness.

You told me to accept the anxiety and release it. And release it slowly, I did. The remaining worry and fear also left me little by little after you correctly helped me to recognise that those negative emotions were attached to the value I placed on the item, the desire to own, and my worry that I will be seen as a careless person by my husband. I released them all, and felt strangely empty.

I knew things were not going to happen on their own, and knew I would be going back to searching for it again. However, this time I would not be driven by fear or be so stressed that I would be annoyed at my kids for nothing.

The rest of the class was interesting, and when the workshop ended, I stopped to run some errands. Around 5pm, I was headed back home when I saw the Red Roses Laundry shop to my right. I decided I had to be bold and ask if they would give it with an ID proof or just convince them with my description. At the very least, I wanted to tell them to hold on to it, and not give to anyone who comes with a receipt.

I had to drive further to make a U-turn, and sensing my anxiety and doubts, I put what I had learnt in the class to full use. I recognised the thoughts, accepted them and released them over and over again. I went a little further and imagined a situation where I am flatly denied, then accepted that disappointment and disillusionment and released it. Going even further, I envisioned a situation where I get what I want, accepted that happy thought and released the feeling of excitement, and elation that I would feel after such an event. I repeatedly accepted and released until I was at the shop’s doorstep.

I went up to the man there, and said, “I’d given my husband’s expensive suit and now I’ve misplaced the receipt. He has an important meeting to attend. I can get you photocopy of my voter’s ID, and proof of address… what should I do?” To this the man said, “Nothing. Just tell me what colour it is.”

I clearly remember accepting the good news, but feeling no strong emotions – just breathing a lot easier! Then, he went to search after enquiring if I’d given anything else with it. I said no, while I gave him the suit’s description, approximate date it was given etc. After less than 10 minutes, he emerged from his store-room, showed me my husband’s suit and said, “You said no, but you’d also given a lady’s top with this. Here it is.” I looked at the simple white top that had been gifted by a friend. This one had a value that only memories could give, and no money could match.

I left the shop thanking the man wholeheartedly, and thanking you too Naran, for everything. The exercise I’d done to release the happiness after success worked wonderfully. I went back home and calmly presented the suit to my husband. He thought I’d found the receipt. I said no. He asked if I’d convinced the shop after giving IDs. I said no.  

I said, “I told you I was going to learn ways to help everyone at home. I used what I learnt today to handle this situation.”

My husband was amazed, and made me tell him all about the class later. I did, and am grateful for the class for all that I learnt.

Thank you,

Roopa

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