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Prioritize your needs

AB

Everybody has guilt, anger, resentment, hatred and fear to some extent. May be, because of that, we have developed many diseases and experiences in our lives. In addition, we don’t know whom to forgive.

So can we help ourselves to heal? What step I can take to heal myself?

Naran

Read the postings. Prioritize your needs. Start to heal one by one.

Related Blog

How to prioritize what you want from life: http://wp.me/pwblL-3A

Don’t Feel Sorry for the Sari: http://wp.me/ptUDl-2P

Do this! Problems will be solved automatically!!

Naran

Desire for approval in action

You can list the ways you seek desire for approval:

  • Thank you for your appreciation
  • I don’t want to hurt his feelings
  • I should not reject him
  • If I do this, he will be happy
  • If I do this, he will not get angry

In addition, list the ways by which you allow yourself to be controlled by others or control others – Desire for approval.

You can term it as fear of rejection or disapproval, for example to influence others through Batch Flower Remedies (list this item too).

We have so much desire to control others and events. We use Bach Flower remedies either with a desire to change ourselves or others.

70% of the time we are operating with this desire and may be more, but not less. If we release this desire, most of the problems will be solved by itself!!

Does a person control you?

Naran

He is controlling me. If you think A is trying to control you, then it means you have fear of being controlled.

  • Release the fear of being controlled

Can you release the fear to be controlled?

Why A is controlling you? It is because you have the fear of being controlled.

  • Before releasing the fear welcome it and then accept it.

Whenever he controls you, are you resisting him?

  • Accept your resistance to him and release it.

Do you like to change him?

  • If yes, can you release the desire to change him?

What do you dislike in him?

  • Can you let go this dislike?

You may ask a different question.

What is that you disapprove, or reject/dislike in him?

Can you accept him as he is? If you get “No” then continue the exercise. You will not get an immediate yes, as you have dislikes for him.

Does this person cause fear in you? What will happen if you are standing in front of him? Is there is any feeling of insecurity?

  • Release your feelings of insecurity.
  • Release your feelings of him.

What do you think will happen if you are in front of him? Do you want this fear to happen?  If no, then release it.

  • Can you release this wanting to happen?
  • Release your fear.

How do you protect yourself? Do you show your anger? Do you resist him? Alternatively, do you have the desire to separate from him or go away from him?

  • Release all those desires.

Can you now accept the person as he is? If you get ‘No”, then continue the exercise. Can you have trust in him? Does anyone think that he or she cannot accept him as he is?

Please understand, if you cannot accept him, then he will continue to be in these types of situations. If you do not want to quarrel or lose harmony, you can nullify the charge of emotions by accepting him as he is.

Related Blog

I love to take control of my life: http://wp.me/ptUMq-4D

Do you know why you react negatively?

Naran

Even though you are successful in your career…!!!

By nature, you are pure – positive, fearless, loving etc. In that sense, all of us are united at a level – called as Sub-conscious Mind or Universal Mind, where we have access to this positive energy.

At this level we are perfect, can do anything we want and be anything we would like to be.

However, we bring in the energy of negativity from outside. Thus, fear, anger, hatred etc., comes from outside and not inside us.

Then, how to get rid of the part that you don’t want?

Affirm:

“I RELEASE the part that produces anger”.

“I OPEN and ALIGN WITH the part that activates love, and forgiveness”.

Attend the workshop on 19th Oct, to know more about your shadow self: http://wp.me/p31KXo-1Y

Fighting for Happiness and Success

ALAMELU

As you said do not resist allow things to happen!!

How cannot we resist – myself verge of losing job – hubby not yet got job – severe mental stress killing me very badly. How I allow myself not to feel stressed. Please let me know?

Naran

When you are on the verge of losing the job, will your worry or fear get the job back?

If so, have fear and worry.

Your fear and worry or anger is what is known as Resistance.

When you accept what is happening, you may see and utilize other avenues.

A message is received (from the incident why you lost the job).

Instead of being overtaken by the rush of emotions and thoughts, and becoming judgmental about what is happening (which is of no use), go within and watch your reaction.

Say, Yes I accept this emotion. I release this.

Go on releasing whatever thought comes to your mind.

After sometime, analyze why this emotion or these types of thoughts come.

Ask yourself is it because of your desire to change the event?

If the answer is yes, say, I release my desire to control or change what is happening.

Ask another question.

Are all the emotions because of fear?

Whatever we fear will manifest.

Say, releasing this fear, I release my desire for security.

Then when the mind is almost clear of restlessness, start chanting “I accept whatever happens totally”.

Check out the “RELEASE your RESISTANCE” CD, which will help you to release your resistance to find happiness and success in life: http://naranhealingproducts.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/release-your-resistance-cd/

Failed to change my child’s behaviour

You want to control your child’s behavior. Instead of studying, he is watching the TV all the time.

  • First say, “I release my desire to control him”. Then advise him.

Why? If you tell him anything with judgment, then he will never listen to you for sure.

How do we control our children? They have to be punctual, eat healthy, study well etc.

Thus, we control all their activities because we think they are to be corrected. We don’t allow them to grow in their own way.

  • What will happen if we don’t tell them so?

If I don’t tell him then he won’t go to school.

  • There is a fear he won’t go to school.
  • So I release the fear that he won’t go to school.
  • What will happen if he doesn’t go to school? Nothing will happen.

I have a responsibility as a mother. Other people should say that my child is a good child.

  • Say, “I release my desire for approval”.
  • In addition, say, “I release my desire to control him”.
  • Release all the desires and then discipline him.
  • There are three basic desires that are operating within us – desire to control, desire to get approval and desire for security.

Even if I wake him up, he doesn’t get up.

  • How do you exercise your control with him? By getting angry with him, you are exercising your control over him.
  • Release that.
  • What’s that you don’t like about him? You dislike him because he is getting up late.
  • Release your dislikes about him.

He doesn’t behave as per my expectations. If he gets up on time then he will be no 1 student

  • This is your expectation.
  • Release all your expectations about him  and then you discipline him

Each and every matter you need to analyze like this and then take your actions. 

Rule your MIND! Rule your LIFE!!

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part IV

Read part I in the series:  https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/how-to-stop-the-mind-influencing-us-part-i/

Part II: “The need for Letting GO” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/the-need-for-letting-go/

Part III: “Letting GO in Action”https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/letting-go-in-action/

Your child is not studying

Letting go proves to be very difficult for the mother.  Between feelings/emotions and action there is no gap. So she gets angry and scolds him.

Then she will feel guilty and pamper him to appease him. During this process, the purpose of the son to study has been lost.

How to manage such a situation?

Whenever any emotion arises, ask the questions:

  • What are the thoughts?
  • What is the emotion behind the thought(s)?
  • I accept this thought
  • Can I release it?

By asking questions, you are creating a gap between thoughts and actions.

Will he study if I release the thought? He has not studied so far anyway.

Try this technique, release your anger and do the action. Then see the results for yourself whether he studies or not.

Why there are communication barriers between mother and son?

Emotions block the communication.

What is the communication required here? He has to listen to us for him to study.

There can be three types of desires here.

Desire to control or change the person

He has to study very hard. He has to become an Engineer and so on.

A framework is present here:

  • Release the thought one after another
  • Do I want to change this person/child?
  • If I say yes, can I release my desire to control the person?
  • We are only releasing the desire, and we are not releasing the action here.
  • I release my desire to control the person. Only then your anger will go.

Desire for more security – feeling of insecurity

Is there is any desire to feel more secure?

Only if he studies well he will do well and then I will become free.

Where there is fear there is no presence of Divinity. Only Satan is present.

I release my fear.

These desires are born with ego.

Desire for approval

Others should recognize my son’s talent. Others should appreciate us (by appreciating my son’s excellence in his studies). People have to complement us (how well you have brought him up).

Another example where a husband desires his wife should treat him properly when he comes home from office.

Release that desire.

What if she appreciates you or not? You let go the craving for recognition.

More and more you should indulge in releasing thoughts, like a game.

Rule your mind instead of mind ruling you

Now mind is managing your life.

Instead, manage it yourself.

Then you do not need a teacher. You do not need anybody.

Therefore, just let go all the thoughts.

What this technique can do

  • Achieving your goals. We are not saying no for achievement. We are only entitled for action and not fruits for the action.
  • Keep saying release and go beyond likes and dislikes.
  • Decision-making
  • Breaking bad habits
  • Better Health and Wealth
  • Good Relationships
  • Build better parent and children relationships
  • In your career you will be able to do wonders

In entire life, you can let go and release. Everything will happen without your intervention.

Obsession Will Not Make It Happen

Naran

If you are obsessed of anything, it may not happen. I want you to change your mind-set and be relaxed.

Oli

I am always scared of losing my love. I know I became obsessed and I really try to be relaxed and leave it to divine.

However, I get impatient as I lost my first love like this.  That’s why I think it is going to happen again.

Naran

Whenever you get the fear just say within, “Why this fear”?

The mind always has a tendency to think and feel as it did in the past.

The event may be new. The feelings and thoughts are never new. The same feelings and the same thoughts are produced every day.

As long as we think that we are mute spectators of events, we cannot do anything.

You are not your mind. When it produces some feeling or thought, which you don’t like, you have the ability to release it.

When a feeling arises, or when a thought comes out, just say:

  •          Can I release this thought?
  •          Why should I keep this thought?
  •          Is this thought helping me or hindering me?
  •          If it hinders me, can I release it?
  •          If the answer is “yes” say, “I release this thought.”

Say this as many times as possible so that you are out of the fear.

This method will help you come out of fear.

Fear always manifests what you don’t want in life.

Oli

You have told me not to be obsessed and to relax. But how can I able to know my limits? Can’t I have right to express my feeling? Can’t I pray or try to regain my lost harmony between us?

I am chanting mantras with full faith on divine. How can I know that there is still a hope? Because we are neither astrologer nor we can talk to divine.

I am going to say my feeling to him tomorrow after chanting OM CHAM NAMAHA OM JAM NAMAHA.

Naran

When you are obsessed with worry and fear you are breaking the quantum rules.

Your fear will manifest the one which you don’t want, instead of getting what you want.

Desire something. Quieten your mind, relax and release it to the divine field.

Approaching anything with the calm and relaxed mind has got better chance of getting what we want.

How to remain calm and relaxed?

That is where the surrendering attitude enters. By surrendering the desire to the divine field, you accept what the divine offers. Surrendering makes you think that whatever divine offer is good for me.

 

Be Aware! Be Alert! Release the Emotions and Thoughts behind every Incident or Event

Dear Naran,

I, along with several other people attended the class last Saturday on Living with Awareness. Before I left home, my younger son had excitedly asked me what class I was attending. I’d said it was a class by my Bach Flowers Teacher, and I was going to learn more ways to help myself and everyone at home.

The class actually started with me wondering about what the workshop was all about. During the initial explanation on how the class can empower us to handle life situations, you asked someone to share a recent incident that has caused stress.

Not really looking for answers, but curious to see where this might lead, I was the person who shared my worry over misplacing a receipt from the laundry service where my husband’s expensive suit was given. I did not exaggerate.  This suit was more expensive than my wedding sari and wedding reception sari combined!! Why we had to spend so much money on a suit was a thought that crossed my mind, but right then I had to find the receipt or forever I would feel terrible about my carelessness.

You told me to accept the anxiety and release it. And release it slowly, I did. The remaining worry and fear also left me little by little after you correctly helped me to recognise that those negative emotions were attached to the value I placed on the item, the desire to own, and my worry that I will be seen as a careless person by my husband. I released them all, and felt strangely empty.

I knew things were not going to happen on their own, and knew I would be going back to searching for it again. However, this time I would not be driven by fear or be so stressed that I would be annoyed at my kids for nothing.

The rest of the class was interesting, and when the workshop ended, I stopped to run some errands. Around 5pm, I was headed back home when I saw the Red Roses Laundry shop to my right. I decided I had to be bold and ask if they would give it with an ID proof or just convince them with my description. At the very least, I wanted to tell them to hold on to it, and not give to anyone who comes with a receipt.

I had to drive further to make a U-turn, and sensing my anxiety and doubts, I put what I had learnt in the class to full use. I recognised the thoughts, accepted them and released them over and over again. I went a little further and imagined a situation where I am flatly denied, then accepted that disappointment and disillusionment and released it. Going even further, I envisioned a situation where I get what I want, accepted that happy thought and released the feeling of excitement, and elation that I would feel after such an event. I repeatedly accepted and released until I was at the shop’s doorstep.

I went up to the man there, and said, “I’d given my husband’s expensive suit and now I’ve misplaced the receipt. He has an important meeting to attend. I can get you photocopy of my voter’s ID, and proof of address… what should I do?” To this the man said, “Nothing. Just tell me what colour it is.”

I clearly remember accepting the good news, but feeling no strong emotions – just breathing a lot easier! Then, he went to search after enquiring if I’d given anything else with it. I said no, while I gave him the suit’s description, approximate date it was given etc. After less than 10 minutes, he emerged from his store-room, showed me my husband’s suit and said, “You said no, but you’d also given a lady’s top with this. Here it is.” I looked at the simple white top that had been gifted by a friend. This one had a value that only memories could give, and no money could match.

I left the shop thanking the man wholeheartedly, and thanking you too Naran, for everything. The exercise I’d done to release the happiness after success worked wonderfully. I went back home and calmly presented the suit to my husband. He thought I’d found the receipt. I said no. He asked if I’d convinced the shop after giving IDs. I said no.  

I said, “I told you I was going to learn ways to help everyone at home. I used what I learnt today to handle this situation.”

My husband was amazed, and made me tell him all about the class later. I did, and am grateful for the class for all that I learnt.

Thank you,

Roopa

WATCH Out!

Your spouse may not react if you do the following…He will simply accept whatever you do…

Saroja: I feel guilty.

Naran: Why?

Saroja: For the last 12 months I have been saving Rs.100/ to present a watch to my brother. I have to give that without my husband knowing it.  My conscience pricks that I am doing something wrong.

Naran: Welcome the guilt feeling and release it.

  • I welcome this terrible guilt. I release this guilt.

Naran: Is it still there?

Saroja: Yes. More than guilt, fear is there.

Naran: What are the thoughts in your state of fear?

Saroja: If he comes to know I will be doomed. This thought is obsessing me.

Naran: Fearing something means unconsciously or secretly means that we want this to happen. Do you want your life to be doomed by your husband?

Saroja: No.

Naran: Then accept it and release it.

  • I release my wanting to be doomed.

Saroja: Sir, my fear is, if he comes to know, he will abuse me. I will be not allowed to see my parents and brother.

  • I accept that I want to be physically abused by my husband. I let go of this fear.
  •  In addition, I let go of my desire to be abused by my husband. 
  • I want to stop meeting my parents. I accept this desire and let go of my desire to stop meeting my parents.
  • I release my state of insecurity because I am safe.

Repeat.

Saroja: I feel better.  I feel comfortable.

Naran: Why do you want to present a watch to your brother on his birth day?

Saroja: I am happy to see him happy.

Naran: How do you know that your gift will make him happy?

Saroja: He does not have one.

Naran: Your gift will make him love you better.

Saroja: Yes. I want to feel loved by him. I need his love.

Naran: Accept your need and desire for his love and release.

  • I accept that I need his love and there is desire for his approval. I release my desire for his approval.

Repeat.

Will you be ready to tell your husband about this?

Saroja: No.

Naran: Release again you insecurity.

Saroja: There still some fear.

  • I release my insecurity.

Saroja: Instead of him coming to know about this, I think rather it is better for me to tell him.

On the day of the incident, she describes in her own words

My fear started increasing.  There was tension in the stomach.

  • I accept there is tension in the stomach.  I release my tension in the stomach.

My body was becoming heavy.

  • I accept my body is becoming heavy. I release the heaviness.

I am ok now.

  • I accept that I am ok. I release this okay feeling.
  • Will he shout at me if I tell him about the watch gift? Let go, let go.

Silence for a few seconds.

  • I can’t face his eyes. Let go, let go.

Some more silence.

  • How do I tell him? Let go, let go.

Silence again. I gave the cup of coffee to my husband. My hands become cold.

  • I accept my hands had become cold. I release the cold sensation in my hands.

My hands shivered.

  • I accept that I am shivering and I release this shivering sensation.
  • I release my state of insecurity (I repeat this affirmation few times).

Suddenly all my fears were gone and I became curious to know how he will react when I tell him about the watch gift. After taking the coffee, suddenly my husband asked me, “Your brother phoned up. It seems every year you buy him a gift. He asked me to remind you. What is your plan for this year?” “I am planning to buy him a watch”.

Lot of happiness joy enthusiasm fills me up.

  • I accept that I am joyful. I release my joy.

“That is a good idea. We will buy one. “I told him easily, “I have already saved Rs.1200/- towards that“. “Fantastic, then we will buy the watch today itself”.

When I went inside to change my dress there was joy and happiness.

  • I accept I am joyful. Can I release this joyful state? Yes.  I release my state of joy. I release my happiness.

When I released my feelings of joy, an aura of peace was there, which can’t be described in words.

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