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Do this! Problems will be solved automatically!!

Naran

Desire for approval in action

You can list the ways you seek desire for approval:

  • Thank you for your appreciation
  • I don’t want to hurt his feelings
  • I should not reject him
  • If I do this, he will be happy
  • If I do this, he will not get angry

In addition, list the ways by which you allow yourself to be controlled by others or control others – Desire for approval.

You can term it as fear of rejection or disapproval, for example to influence others through Batch Flower Remedies (list this item too).

We have so much desire to control others and events. We use Bach Flower remedies either with a desire to change ourselves or others.

70% of the time we are operating with this desire and may be more, but not less. If we release this desire, most of the problems will be solved by itself!!

NLP for accepting a bad relationship

Naran

Brain is the hardware of the mind. The brain always stores memories of the people we like, in one compartment, and the people we do not like in another compartment.

At the same time, we come across people who are neutral to us, to whom we have no likes or dislikes. They do not have a participation in our life. They will be kept in a different compartment of the brain.

Remove the dislike for the person

  • Visualize a white screen in front of you.
  • Close your eyes. Use your hands and do it.
  • Where is the person whom you like? They will be in one place.
  • Find out where the person you dislike are stored inside your brain. You will get a feeling in some part of your brain.
  • Find out where neutral compartment people are.
  • Move the person you dislike to neutral place.

Repeat the exercise over a few days or weeks until you can release the dislike for the person disliked.

Do the releasing first

Do not do this without doing the releasing technique first as you should know how much your feelings and desires are responsible for disharmony caused.

Automatically, the other person you hate will go from you.  Even if he is present, you will not be afraid that he can control you. He will not be in your life to control you anymore.

Therefore, you can concentrate on something else. The NLP exercise will reduce our dislikes, but we have to release first.  Do this on a daily basis.

We should remove our arrogance, feelings and our demanding nature. If you don’t expect positive feelings of release, then do the NLP technique

Why did I select the third compartment?

One can accept the person totally after doing releasing techniques. There is no doubt about that.

Though, if we see that person again, we won’t know what to do. If we put them in a neutral compartment, then we will accept them easily.  Therefore, you should not give up on ‘RULE your MIND’ techniques.

Neutral compartment will help us in accepting a person.

Related blogs

There is no Second Chance in Marriage: http://wp.me/ptUoU-1j

The Driver for Relationships: http://wp.me/ptUHD-3E

Rule your MIND! Rule your LIFE!!

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part IV

Read part I in the series:  https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/how-to-stop-the-mind-influencing-us-part-i/

Part II: “The need for Letting GO” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/the-need-for-letting-go/

Part III: “Letting GO in Action”https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/letting-go-in-action/

Your child is not studying

Letting go proves to be very difficult for the mother.  Between feelings/emotions and action there is no gap. So she gets angry and scolds him.

Then she will feel guilty and pamper him to appease him. During this process, the purpose of the son to study has been lost.

How to manage such a situation?

Whenever any emotion arises, ask the questions:

  • What are the thoughts?
  • What is the emotion behind the thought(s)?
  • I accept this thought
  • Can I release it?

By asking questions, you are creating a gap between thoughts and actions.

Will he study if I release the thought? He has not studied so far anyway.

Try this technique, release your anger and do the action. Then see the results for yourself whether he studies or not.

Why there are communication barriers between mother and son?

Emotions block the communication.

What is the communication required here? He has to listen to us for him to study.

There can be three types of desires here.

Desire to control or change the person

He has to study very hard. He has to become an Engineer and so on.

A framework is present here:

  • Release the thought one after another
  • Do I want to change this person/child?
  • If I say yes, can I release my desire to control the person?
  • We are only releasing the desire, and we are not releasing the action here.
  • I release my desire to control the person. Only then your anger will go.

Desire for more security – feeling of insecurity

Is there is any desire to feel more secure?

Only if he studies well he will do well and then I will become free.

Where there is fear there is no presence of Divinity. Only Satan is present.

I release my fear.

These desires are born with ego.

Desire for approval

Others should recognize my son’s talent. Others should appreciate us (by appreciating my son’s excellence in his studies). People have to complement us (how well you have brought him up).

Another example where a husband desires his wife should treat him properly when he comes home from office.

Release that desire.

What if she appreciates you or not? You let go the craving for recognition.

More and more you should indulge in releasing thoughts, like a game.

Rule your mind instead of mind ruling you

Now mind is managing your life.

Instead, manage it yourself.

Then you do not need a teacher. You do not need anybody.

Therefore, just let go all the thoughts.

What this technique can do

  • Achieving your goals. We are not saying no for achievement. We are only entitled for action and not fruits for the action.
  • Keep saying release and go beyond likes and dislikes.
  • Decision-making
  • Breaking bad habits
  • Better Health and Wealth
  • Good Relationships
  • Build better parent and children relationships
  • In your career you will be able to do wonders

In entire life, you can let go and release. Everything will happen without your intervention.

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part I

“You are entitled to action only. This is the Law of Karma. Leave the fruit to me” – says Krishna.

A simple way to implement it

Living with Awareness is an important subject. If you apply this technique, you do not need attend lectures on Bhagavat Gita.

Living with awareness is a life process. If it is done regularly, it can change our lives significantly.

Do it systematically.

Play it like a game. Do not think it as an exercise.

To put it simple, you release all thoughts and feelings prior to action.

Releasing thoughts associated with an action

You get a phone call.

We assume it is a bad call.

We think and get irritated, why I should get such calls during late nights.

Can you release this irritation? Affirm, “I let go this irritation”.

Our actions are contaminated with unwanted thoughts

Whenever you are about to perform an action, it is preceded by thoughts.

Release those thoughts.

That’s does not mean you are prevented from doing the action. You just do the action.

Then you are in the present – without any thought, and only doing actions.

If some other thoughts come, tell them, “You can come later. This is not the time for you now.”

If you do any action, without any thought or feeling, then its 100 percent completed.

You are entitled only to act

You are not entitled to think or feel before an action.

If you tell the thought to go, it will go.

After the action, if the results are not to our expectations, we will comment badly about concerned people. We will remark, “I wasted so much time with them”.

Affirm then, “I release the thought. I let go this thought.”

When you put a counter thought like this, the mind gets confused as it cannot continuously change its thought flow or pattern.

After releasing all the thoughts that appears in your mind, comes the time for your action(s).

One door closes Another door opens

Tanu

I and my boy-friend broke up last year though we love each other even now.

It all happened because of his friends as they cropped up misunderstandings between us. And he isn’t able to see that.

And I know he doesn’t have that much of courage to tell me that he still loves me. I really want to get back together with him.

Naran

Leave him!!!

Tanu

Then please suggest me something so that I forget him easily as I am trying to get over him. But, as we work at the same place, it’s really difficult for me to see him every time everywhere around me and that turns me off.

And I am full of sad feelings.

Or tell me how I can get my real soul mate.

Naran

I could understand your pangs of love.

Only for your highest good I suggested that.

I honestly feel that you should lead a happy life.

Can everybody be happy?

One has to learn to be happy in spite of events.

When we want something intently, and when we resist what is happening then what we get is pain. Though we want pleasure, our resistance to any event and our incomplete understanding of the divine order, gives us pain only.

Just observe what is going on in the mind.

  • As and when any thought come, just say, “Why not I release this? Yes, I let go of this thought?”
  • Release everything – every feeling, every thought – that prevents you to forget him.
  • If any thought or feeling does not get released, find out the desire behind this feeling or thought. If there is a desire to possess him release that desire.
  • If there is a desire to change him or the event release that desire too.

Do the releasing techniques as given above.

Other steps

If you can buy Bach flower remedies from your local homeopathy shop then buy:

  • CHICORY (to overcome the love pangs)
  • WALNUT (to release resistance and break away )
  • WILLOW (to overcome resentment and anger towards friends)
  • HORNBEAM (to move on)

Take those flower remedies by putting 6 pills of each in a bottle of water and keep on sipping that water from morning to evening.

Do this sipping for 15 days.

Put the pills once every day.

 

Obsession Will Not Make It Happen

Naran

If you are obsessed of anything, it may not happen. I want you to change your mind-set and be relaxed.

Oli

I am always scared of losing my love. I know I became obsessed and I really try to be relaxed and leave it to divine.

However, I get impatient as I lost my first love like this.  That’s why I think it is going to happen again.

Naran

Whenever you get the fear just say within, “Why this fear”?

The mind always has a tendency to think and feel as it did in the past.

The event may be new. The feelings and thoughts are never new. The same feelings and the same thoughts are produced every day.

As long as we think that we are mute spectators of events, we cannot do anything.

You are not your mind. When it produces some feeling or thought, which you don’t like, you have the ability to release it.

When a feeling arises, or when a thought comes out, just say:

  •          Can I release this thought?
  •          Why should I keep this thought?
  •          Is this thought helping me or hindering me?
  •          If it hinders me, can I release it?
  •          If the answer is “yes” say, “I release this thought.”

Say this as many times as possible so that you are out of the fear.

This method will help you come out of fear.

Fear always manifests what you don’t want in life.

Oli

You have told me not to be obsessed and to relax. But how can I able to know my limits? Can’t I have right to express my feeling? Can’t I pray or try to regain my lost harmony between us?

I am chanting mantras with full faith on divine. How can I know that there is still a hope? Because we are neither astrologer nor we can talk to divine.

I am going to say my feeling to him tomorrow after chanting OM CHAM NAMAHA OM JAM NAMAHA.

Naran

When you are obsessed with worry and fear you are breaking the quantum rules.

Your fear will manifest the one which you don’t want, instead of getting what you want.

Desire something. Quieten your mind, relax and release it to the divine field.

Approaching anything with the calm and relaxed mind has got better chance of getting what we want.

How to remain calm and relaxed?

That is where the surrendering attitude enters. By surrendering the desire to the divine field, you accept what the divine offers. Surrendering makes you think that whatever divine offer is good for me.

 

ADVANTAGE Acceptance

Rule: Total Acceptance

I Hate Vegetables

Meera aged twelve, doesn’t fancy vegetables in any form and fruits as well. She wanted to change he diet pattern.

Shobana taught her EFT informally and gave her the affirmation, “Even though I don’t like to eat vegetables and fruits, I choose to accept myself totally”.

Within three days of tapping on herself, Meera could comfortably start eating vegetables and fruits.

Sleepless in Chennai

Venu was doing his last year in an Engineering College. So he had a many a late night preparations for the final year exam and the project as well.

He didn’t mind going to sleep late, though he found it difficult to sleep well.

He will be lying in bed for an hour or two, before he can go into a sleep. In addition, he was getting few nightmares too. Therefore, when he gets up in the morning, he was feeling tired and restless.

Accept Myself Totally

After hearing about Meera from Shobana, he affirmed the following while tapping on him:

“Even though I am not happy about my progress in my studies, I choose to accept myself totally”.

“Even though I feel as a looser, I choose to accept myself totally”.

He started sleeping well.

He is continuing this approach for other problems as well. He find as long as he can accept himself in a situation, he is able to handle the situation comfortably.

ADVANTAGE Acceptance

“I choose to accept myself totally” – what does that mean.

It means we accept ‘My feelings’, ‘My Thoughts’ and ‘My Life Situations’ as ‘Myself’ indicates all of them.

The energy stream produced among them can thus be settled amicably.

When you accept, what happens to the mind – which is the creator of all emotions and thoughts?

When you don’t observe the thoughts or emotions, they will dominate you. Then you are led by the mind. 

You will behave in the same way as you behaved in a similar situation from the past. Thus, one becomes a Robot.

When you affirm, “I accept myself totally”, the mind is baffled because it didn’t not expect any observation from you.

When you go on accepting the thoughts and emotions as they arise, they cannot stay in the same energy pool. Thus it won’t be able to sustain the old thinking cum action pattern.

New Choice New Behaviour

They just die down (get released) and you become free.  When you become free, you have a new choice. You can wait for events to unfold in a different way.

Accepting is nothing but changing the path of mind. Therefore, it can access a neural path and a new behavior is elicited.

My unfriendly neighbour

Rule: Releasing Option is the Only Option

Shantha had a very unfriendly neighbour in Gita.

She never felt comfortable to approach Gita for any obligation as she is a very fussy person and gets easily irritated.

She Had a Visitor

One day she had a late night visitor. The guest didn’t give Shantha any notice, a norm in this part of the world.

Therefore, Shantha wasn’t ready to handle the situation. Of course, that doesn’t mean she can treat the guest shabbily.

Shantha wanted some stuff to make sure the dinner is special and a good treat for her guest. Unfortunately the shops were closed as it was late night.

Will My Friendly Neighbour Help?

She was sure that Gita could help. But will Gita oblige Shantha at this late hour, when she is so fussy during normal times.

So she had two options: one is to approach Gita and another is to apply the RULE on her emotions and thoughts about Gita. The later option seemed to be easier for Shantha.

She did the RULE for few minutes.

Then There Was One More Visitor

While she was doing the RULE guess what, she had another visitor. It was none other than Gita. Having seen the guest in Shantha’s house she was curious to find out whether she could be of any help to Shantha!!!

How Shantha Executed the RULE: Releasing Act

She had a conversation within herself.

Can I release the fear about Gita? Yes. I just release this fear now.

But there is some more fear. How much can I release – around 30%? No, may be 10%. Yes. I can release 10% of the remaining fear.

Can I release 10% more?

(Like wise, she could release 30% of her fears. Even then she was feeling uncomfortable.)

Release Predominant Thoughts About Situation

She watched her mind. Only one thought repeatedly was going on inside her mind, “Will Gita shout at me if I approach her for help?”.

Ok shall I release that thought part by part? “Yes I can”.

Will I first release the word “shout” from the thought? Yes, I can. I release the word “shout”.

Shall I release “will she “, yes I can. Therefore I release, “will she”.

What are the remaining words?

This question will put off the mind and the whole thought will vanish.

If we do this way, thought becomes meaningless and it will be released automatically.

Peace Dawns

After the words are released individually like this, she became immediately peaceful.

As soon as that happens, then enters our heroine Gita. Is there is a coincidence. Try it out, you will know.

 

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