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Do this! Problems will be solved automatically!!

Naran

Desire for approval in action

You can list the ways you seek desire for approval:

  • Thank you for your appreciation
  • I don’t want to hurt his feelings
  • I should not reject him
  • If I do this, he will be happy
  • If I do this, he will not get angry

In addition, list the ways by which you allow yourself to be controlled by others or control others – Desire for approval.

You can term it as fear of rejection or disapproval, for example to influence others through Batch Flower Remedies (list this item too).

We have so much desire to control others and events. We use Bach Flower remedies either with a desire to change ourselves or others.

70% of the time we are operating with this desire and may be more, but not less. If we release this desire, most of the problems will be solved by itself!!

A SIMPLE technique to make others love you

Before doing anything, before speaking anything, ask yourself, “Will the Divine be happy and bless me if I do this or speak this?”

If you think that the divine will be happy and bless, then you may proceed.

Then you will be loved by one and all.

Why we are doing this exercise?

It makes you to be silent, or to train yourself to be in silence. We cannot know the value of silence.

As you reduce your speech, silence will automatically come. Silence will develop as you stop using unnecessary words.

Lead a Life of No-Karma

The more you try to be silent or reduce your speech you will come out of your karma very easily. The moment you utter a word, you are incurring your karma.

You are not responsible for any word or emotion that is not under your control. If you just say “RELEASE”, the emotion or thought will go.

Instead of doing that, with emotion/thought as your motivating force, if you utter a word or do a thing then you are entering into karma.

When there is conflict or quarrel you have to be very careful in using your words. If we speak unnecessarily it will bounce back on you at a later stage.

(Only here) You should use your analytical mind and restrain from such talks.

The above extract was taken from ‘I Love Myself Workbook’ by Naran S Balakumar

Likes and Dislikes

Naran

How liking for a person operates inside the mind?

Take one person what you like about him and what you don’t like about him, say your spouse for example.

You have a liking for the person. What is the desire operating behind this like?

For some reason you like him. Whoever listens to us we like them. If somebody argues with us, even if they tell the truth we don’t like them.

Therefore, when we like somebody we have to like him for some reason. It could be based on desire for approval or desire to associate.

  • Therefore, shall we say, ‘I release my desire to like him’.

Because we have desire to possess, when that person is around, we feel happy.

When they go away from us, then we do not feel happy and start hating that person.

Did you release the liking for that person? We are not sure, so we are not releasing it.

When you release your likes about a person, everything will go on well between you and the concerned person. Love will get stronger.

  • Release all your likes and dislike for the same person.

How does dislike operates?

If they are like this, then I am happy about them. Thus, a desire to control or change the person operates here.

  • Therefore, welcome your dislike and release your dislike.
  • Then accept your desire to control and release it as well.

Letting GO in Action

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part III

Read part I in the series:  https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/how-to-stop-the-mind-influencing-us-part-i/

And Part II: “The need for Letting GO” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/the-need-for-letting-go/

How to bring the mind to do letting go?

Let us say, you are angry.

Then affirm, “I am not the mind. I feel angry.”

Here you have changed “I am angry” to “I feel angry”.

If you are happy then affirm, “I feel happy”, and so on.

Prepare a checklist of emotions

List the emotions you are feeling currently.

Irrespective of whether they are positive or negative, release them.

Let us see an example

Somebody cheats you.

How you let go the emotions attached with this incident?

List the emotions first.

For example:

  1. Let him go to hell
  2. He is not fair
  3. How can he do this to me, when I have done so much to him?

(One thought will generate another thought)

Take the first one “Let him to hell”.

  1. Affirm, “I accept this thought.”
  2. I ask the mind, “Can I release it?”
  3. If it says no, then I question back the mind, “When can I release it?”
  4. If it keeps quiet, then I ask the mind, “Can I release at least 10% of the thought?”
  5. If it says yes, then I release the 10%.

It is just a mind game. Playing games with mind like this will confuse it.

A confused mind cannot have any impact on your actions.

One door closes Another door opens

Tanu

I and my boy-friend broke up last year though we love each other even now.

It all happened because of his friends as they cropped up misunderstandings between us. And he isn’t able to see that.

And I know he doesn’t have that much of courage to tell me that he still loves me. I really want to get back together with him.

Naran

Leave him!!!

Tanu

Then please suggest me something so that I forget him easily as I am trying to get over him. But, as we work at the same place, it’s really difficult for me to see him every time everywhere around me and that turns me off.

And I am full of sad feelings.

Or tell me how I can get my real soul mate.

Naran

I could understand your pangs of love.

Only for your highest good I suggested that.

I honestly feel that you should lead a happy life.

Can everybody be happy?

One has to learn to be happy in spite of events.

When we want something intently, and when we resist what is happening then what we get is pain. Though we want pleasure, our resistance to any event and our incomplete understanding of the divine order, gives us pain only.

Just observe what is going on in the mind.

  • As and when any thought come, just say, “Why not I release this? Yes, I let go of this thought?”
  • Release everything – every feeling, every thought – that prevents you to forget him.
  • If any thought or feeling does not get released, find out the desire behind this feeling or thought. If there is a desire to possess him release that desire.
  • If there is a desire to change him or the event release that desire too.

Do the releasing techniques as given above.

Other steps

If you can buy Bach flower remedies from your local homeopathy shop then buy:

  • CHICORY (to overcome the love pangs)
  • WALNUT (to release resistance and break away )
  • WILLOW (to overcome resentment and anger towards friends)
  • HORNBEAM (to move on)

Take those flower remedies by putting 6 pills of each in a bottle of water and keep on sipping that water from morning to evening.

Do this sipping for 15 days.

Put the pills once every day.

 

Be Aware! Be Alert! Release the Emotions and Thoughts behind every Incident or Event

Dear Naran,

I, along with several other people attended the class last Saturday on Living with Awareness. Before I left home, my younger son had excitedly asked me what class I was attending. I’d said it was a class by my Bach Flowers Teacher, and I was going to learn more ways to help myself and everyone at home.

The class actually started with me wondering about what the workshop was all about. During the initial explanation on how the class can empower us to handle life situations, you asked someone to share a recent incident that has caused stress.

Not really looking for answers, but curious to see where this might lead, I was the person who shared my worry over misplacing a receipt from the laundry service where my husband’s expensive suit was given. I did not exaggerate.  This suit was more expensive than my wedding sari and wedding reception sari combined!! Why we had to spend so much money on a suit was a thought that crossed my mind, but right then I had to find the receipt or forever I would feel terrible about my carelessness.

You told me to accept the anxiety and release it. And release it slowly, I did. The remaining worry and fear also left me little by little after you correctly helped me to recognise that those negative emotions were attached to the value I placed on the item, the desire to own, and my worry that I will be seen as a careless person by my husband. I released them all, and felt strangely empty.

I knew things were not going to happen on their own, and knew I would be going back to searching for it again. However, this time I would not be driven by fear or be so stressed that I would be annoyed at my kids for nothing.

The rest of the class was interesting, and when the workshop ended, I stopped to run some errands. Around 5pm, I was headed back home when I saw the Red Roses Laundry shop to my right. I decided I had to be bold and ask if they would give it with an ID proof or just convince them with my description. At the very least, I wanted to tell them to hold on to it, and not give to anyone who comes with a receipt.

I had to drive further to make a U-turn, and sensing my anxiety and doubts, I put what I had learnt in the class to full use. I recognised the thoughts, accepted them and released them over and over again. I went a little further and imagined a situation where I am flatly denied, then accepted that disappointment and disillusionment and released it. Going even further, I envisioned a situation where I get what I want, accepted that happy thought and released the feeling of excitement, and elation that I would feel after such an event. I repeatedly accepted and released until I was at the shop’s doorstep.

I went up to the man there, and said, “I’d given my husband’s expensive suit and now I’ve misplaced the receipt. He has an important meeting to attend. I can get you photocopy of my voter’s ID, and proof of address… what should I do?” To this the man said, “Nothing. Just tell me what colour it is.”

I clearly remember accepting the good news, but feeling no strong emotions – just breathing a lot easier! Then, he went to search after enquiring if I’d given anything else with it. I said no, while I gave him the suit’s description, approximate date it was given etc. After less than 10 minutes, he emerged from his store-room, showed me my husband’s suit and said, “You said no, but you’d also given a lady’s top with this. Here it is.” I looked at the simple white top that had been gifted by a friend. This one had a value that only memories could give, and no money could match.

I left the shop thanking the man wholeheartedly, and thanking you too Naran, for everything. The exercise I’d done to release the happiness after success worked wonderfully. I went back home and calmly presented the suit to my husband. He thought I’d found the receipt. I said no. He asked if I’d convinced the shop after giving IDs. I said no.  

I said, “I told you I was going to learn ways to help everyone at home. I used what I learnt today to handle this situation.”

My husband was amazed, and made me tell him all about the class later. I did, and am grateful for the class for all that I learnt.

Thank you,

Roopa

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