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What goes out comes in

Naran

Our contradictory behaviors – Home vs. Work

We will keep criticizing people at home for small things, while we tolerate more in the work place.

On the contrary, when an assistant asks for small things, you may reject it using office procedures as an excuse. Though at home, you might prefer to say yes for whatever your wife asks for.

You may reject somebody and dislike somebody else. The same dislike will operate against you in some other place. Somebody else will reject you or dislike you.

She got into some problem in her office

Anjali was blamed for something she didn’t do, saying that the work comes under her jurisdiction. Whatever explanation she wanted to give was not accepted, even though she is an honest worker.

Then why this should happen to her?

I asked her whether she had rejected someone close to her. She said all along she treated her husband like dirt. I told her when she changes her attitude toward him, her office situation will become alright and it did.

When you are rejecting a person with no reason, then you will be rejected unnecessarily in some other place. If you constantly find fault with somebody then you will be criticised by somebody else. This is a mental cycle.

Abusing somebody who had asked for a donation

If you had insulted somebody unnecessarily then you will be insulted unnecessarily.

Somebody wanted a donation from Arun for charity purpose. He rejected him giving not only flimsy reasons but also criticised him vehemently. Later, after two years, he was charged by custom authorities and asked him to pay more.

We do not observe life at all. The person who came for donation was wounded. Now Arun is wounded. This is law of life.

Therefore, whatever you do, release you desire, emotions behind it and then do it.

Rule your MIND! Rule your LIFE!!

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part IV

Read part I in the series:  https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/how-to-stop-the-mind-influencing-us-part-i/

Part II: “The need for Letting GO” – https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/the-need-for-letting-go/

Part III: “Letting GO in Action”https://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/letting-go-in-action/

Your child is not studying

Letting go proves to be very difficult for the mother.  Between feelings/emotions and action there is no gap. So she gets angry and scolds him.

Then she will feel guilty and pamper him to appease him. During this process, the purpose of the son to study has been lost.

How to manage such a situation?

Whenever any emotion arises, ask the questions:

  • What are the thoughts?
  • What is the emotion behind the thought(s)?
  • I accept this thought
  • Can I release it?

By asking questions, you are creating a gap between thoughts and actions.

Will he study if I release the thought? He has not studied so far anyway.

Try this technique, release your anger and do the action. Then see the results for yourself whether he studies or not.

Why there are communication barriers between mother and son?

Emotions block the communication.

What is the communication required here? He has to listen to us for him to study.

There can be three types of desires here.

Desire to control or change the person

He has to study very hard. He has to become an Engineer and so on.

A framework is present here:

  • Release the thought one after another
  • Do I want to change this person/child?
  • If I say yes, can I release my desire to control the person?
  • We are only releasing the desire, and we are not releasing the action here.
  • I release my desire to control the person. Only then your anger will go.

Desire for more security – feeling of insecurity

Is there is any desire to feel more secure?

Only if he studies well he will do well and then I will become free.

Where there is fear there is no presence of Divinity. Only Satan is present.

I release my fear.

These desires are born with ego.

Desire for approval

Others should recognize my son’s talent. Others should appreciate us (by appreciating my son’s excellence in his studies). People have to complement us (how well you have brought him up).

Another example where a husband desires his wife should treat him properly when he comes home from office.

Release that desire.

What if she appreciates you or not? You let go the craving for recognition.

More and more you should indulge in releasing thoughts, like a game.

Rule your mind instead of mind ruling you

Now mind is managing your life.

Instead, manage it yourself.

Then you do not need a teacher. You do not need anybody.

Therefore, just let go all the thoughts.

What this technique can do

  • Achieving your goals. We are not saying no for achievement. We are only entitled for action and not fruits for the action.
  • Keep saying release and go beyond likes and dislikes.
  • Decision-making
  • Breaking bad habits
  • Better Health and Wealth
  • Good Relationships
  • Build better parent and children relationships
  • In your career you will be able to do wonders

In entire life, you can let go and release. Everything will happen without your intervention.

Be Aware! Be Alert! Release the Emotions and Thoughts behind every Incident or Event

Dear Naran,

I, along with several other people attended the class last Saturday on Living with Awareness. Before I left home, my younger son had excitedly asked me what class I was attending. I’d said it was a class by my Bach Flowers Teacher, and I was going to learn more ways to help myself and everyone at home.

The class actually started with me wondering about what the workshop was all about. During the initial explanation on how the class can empower us to handle life situations, you asked someone to share a recent incident that has caused stress.

Not really looking for answers, but curious to see where this might lead, I was the person who shared my worry over misplacing a receipt from the laundry service where my husband’s expensive suit was given. I did not exaggerate.  This suit was more expensive than my wedding sari and wedding reception sari combined!! Why we had to spend so much money on a suit was a thought that crossed my mind, but right then I had to find the receipt or forever I would feel terrible about my carelessness.

You told me to accept the anxiety and release it. And release it slowly, I did. The remaining worry and fear also left me little by little after you correctly helped me to recognise that those negative emotions were attached to the value I placed on the item, the desire to own, and my worry that I will be seen as a careless person by my husband. I released them all, and felt strangely empty.

I knew things were not going to happen on their own, and knew I would be going back to searching for it again. However, this time I would not be driven by fear or be so stressed that I would be annoyed at my kids for nothing.

The rest of the class was interesting, and when the workshop ended, I stopped to run some errands. Around 5pm, I was headed back home when I saw the Red Roses Laundry shop to my right. I decided I had to be bold and ask if they would give it with an ID proof or just convince them with my description. At the very least, I wanted to tell them to hold on to it, and not give to anyone who comes with a receipt.

I had to drive further to make a U-turn, and sensing my anxiety and doubts, I put what I had learnt in the class to full use. I recognised the thoughts, accepted them and released them over and over again. I went a little further and imagined a situation where I am flatly denied, then accepted that disappointment and disillusionment and released it. Going even further, I envisioned a situation where I get what I want, accepted that happy thought and released the feeling of excitement, and elation that I would feel after such an event. I repeatedly accepted and released until I was at the shop’s doorstep.

I went up to the man there, and said, “I’d given my husband’s expensive suit and now I’ve misplaced the receipt. He has an important meeting to attend. I can get you photocopy of my voter’s ID, and proof of address… what should I do?” To this the man said, “Nothing. Just tell me what colour it is.”

I clearly remember accepting the good news, but feeling no strong emotions – just breathing a lot easier! Then, he went to search after enquiring if I’d given anything else with it. I said no, while I gave him the suit’s description, approximate date it was given etc. After less than 10 minutes, he emerged from his store-room, showed me my husband’s suit and said, “You said no, but you’d also given a lady’s top with this. Here it is.” I looked at the simple white top that had been gifted by a friend. This one had a value that only memories could give, and no money could match.

I left the shop thanking the man wholeheartedly, and thanking you too Naran, for everything. The exercise I’d done to release the happiness after success worked wonderfully. I went back home and calmly presented the suit to my husband. He thought I’d found the receipt. I said no. He asked if I’d convinced the shop after giving IDs. I said no.  

I said, “I told you I was going to learn ways to help everyone at home. I used what I learnt today to handle this situation.”

My husband was amazed, and made me tell him all about the class later. I did, and am grateful for the class for all that I learnt.

Thank you,

Roopa

WATCH Out!

Your spouse may not react if you do the following…He will simply accept whatever you do…

Saroja: I feel guilty.

Naran: Why?

Saroja: For the last 12 months I have been saving Rs.100/ to present a watch to my brother. I have to give that without my husband knowing it.  My conscience pricks that I am doing something wrong.

Naran: Welcome the guilt feeling and release it.

  • I welcome this terrible guilt. I release this guilt.

Naran: Is it still there?

Saroja: Yes. More than guilt, fear is there.

Naran: What are the thoughts in your state of fear?

Saroja: If he comes to know I will be doomed. This thought is obsessing me.

Naran: Fearing something means unconsciously or secretly means that we want this to happen. Do you want your life to be doomed by your husband?

Saroja: No.

Naran: Then accept it and release it.

  • I release my wanting to be doomed.

Saroja: Sir, my fear is, if he comes to know, he will abuse me. I will be not allowed to see my parents and brother.

  • I accept that I want to be physically abused by my husband. I let go of this fear.
  •  In addition, I let go of my desire to be abused by my husband. 
  • I want to stop meeting my parents. I accept this desire and let go of my desire to stop meeting my parents.
  • I release my state of insecurity because I am safe.

Repeat.

Saroja: I feel better.  I feel comfortable.

Naran: Why do you want to present a watch to your brother on his birth day?

Saroja: I am happy to see him happy.

Naran: How do you know that your gift will make him happy?

Saroja: He does not have one.

Naran: Your gift will make him love you better.

Saroja: Yes. I want to feel loved by him. I need his love.

Naran: Accept your need and desire for his love and release.

  • I accept that I need his love and there is desire for his approval. I release my desire for his approval.

Repeat.

Will you be ready to tell your husband about this?

Saroja: No.

Naran: Release again you insecurity.

Saroja: There still some fear.

  • I release my insecurity.

Saroja: Instead of him coming to know about this, I think rather it is better for me to tell him.

On the day of the incident, she describes in her own words

My fear started increasing.  There was tension in the stomach.

  • I accept there is tension in the stomach.  I release my tension in the stomach.

My body was becoming heavy.

  • I accept my body is becoming heavy. I release the heaviness.

I am ok now.

  • I accept that I am ok. I release this okay feeling.
  • Will he shout at me if I tell him about the watch gift? Let go, let go.

Silence for a few seconds.

  • I can’t face his eyes. Let go, let go.

Some more silence.

  • How do I tell him? Let go, let go.

Silence again. I gave the cup of coffee to my husband. My hands become cold.

  • I accept my hands had become cold. I release the cold sensation in my hands.

My hands shivered.

  • I accept that I am shivering and I release this shivering sensation.
  • I release my state of insecurity (I repeat this affirmation few times).

Suddenly all my fears were gone and I became curious to know how he will react when I tell him about the watch gift. After taking the coffee, suddenly my husband asked me, “Your brother phoned up. It seems every year you buy him a gift. He asked me to remind you. What is your plan for this year?” “I am planning to buy him a watch”.

Lot of happiness joy enthusiasm fills me up.

  • I accept that I am joyful. I release my joy.

“That is a good idea. We will buy one. “I told him easily, “I have already saved Rs.1200/- towards that“. “Fantastic, then we will buy the watch today itself”.

When I went inside to change my dress there was joy and happiness.

  • I accept I am joyful. Can I release this joyful state? Yes.  I release my state of joy. I release my happiness.

When I released my feelings of joy, an aura of peace was there, which can’t be described in words.

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