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Managing a stubborn person

Student

My son has a resistance to work. He will go late to office. He was warned three times.

One day he decides to go to office in casual wear. Even though I warned him, he didn’t want to listen to me.

Then, I decided to affirm, ‘I release my desire to change or control him’.

Naran

You have affirmed correctly. Please do it as many times as you can.

On and off our mind will not keep quiet. So we need to release our desire to control or change somebody.

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Failed to change my child’s behaviour

You want to control your child’s behavior. Instead of studying, he is watching the TV all the time.

  • First say, “I release my desire to control him”. Then advise him.

Why? If you tell him anything with judgment, then he will never listen to you for sure.

How do we control our children? They have to be punctual, eat healthy, study well etc.

Thus, we control all their activities because we think they are to be corrected. We don’t allow them to grow in their own way.

  • What will happen if we don’t tell them so?

If I don’t tell him then he won’t go to school.

  • There is a fear he won’t go to school.
  • So I release the fear that he won’t go to school.
  • What will happen if he doesn’t go to school? Nothing will happen.

I have a responsibility as a mother. Other people should say that my child is a good child.

  • Say, “I release my desire for approval”.
  • In addition, say, “I release my desire to control him”.
  • Release all the desires and then discipline him.
  • There are three basic desires that are operating within us – desire to control, desire to get approval and desire for security.

Even if I wake him up, he doesn’t get up.

  • How do you exercise your control with him? By getting angry with him, you are exercising your control over him.
  • Release that.
  • What’s that you don’t like about him? You dislike him because he is getting up late.
  • Release your dislikes about him.

He doesn’t behave as per my expectations. If he gets up on time then he will be no 1 student

  • This is your expectation.
  • Release all your expectations about him  and then you discipline him

Each and every matter you need to analyze like this and then take your actions. 

STOP the MIND’s Influence on YOU Part I

“You are entitled to action only. This is the Law of Karma. Leave the fruit to me” – says Krishna.

A simple way to implement it

Living with Awareness is an important subject. If you apply this technique, you do not need attend lectures on Bhagavat Gita.

Living with awareness is a life process. If it is done regularly, it can change our lives significantly.

Do it systematically.

Play it like a game. Do not think it as an exercise.

To put it simple, you release all thoughts and feelings prior to action.

Releasing thoughts associated with an action

You get a phone call.

We assume it is a bad call.

We think and get irritated, why I should get such calls during late nights.

Can you release this irritation? Affirm, “I let go this irritation”.

Our actions are contaminated with unwanted thoughts

Whenever you are about to perform an action, it is preceded by thoughts.

Release those thoughts.

That’s does not mean you are prevented from doing the action. You just do the action.

Then you are in the present – without any thought, and only doing actions.

If some other thoughts come, tell them, “You can come later. This is not the time for you now.”

If you do any action, without any thought or feeling, then its 100 percent completed.

You are entitled only to act

You are not entitled to think or feel before an action.

If you tell the thought to go, it will go.

After the action, if the results are not to our expectations, we will comment badly about concerned people. We will remark, “I wasted so much time with them”.

Affirm then, “I release the thought. I let go this thought.”

When you put a counter thought like this, the mind gets confused as it cannot continuously change its thought flow or pattern.

After releasing all the thoughts that appears in your mind, comes the time for your action(s).

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