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Does a person control you?

Naran

He is controlling me. If you think A is trying to control you, then it means you have fear of being controlled.

  • Release the fear of being controlled

Can you release the fear to be controlled?

Why A is controlling you? It is because you have the fear of being controlled.

  • Before releasing the fear welcome it and then accept it.

Whenever he controls you, are you resisting him?

  • Accept your resistance to him and release it.

Do you like to change him?

  • If yes, can you release the desire to change him?

What do you dislike in him?

  • Can you let go this dislike?

You may ask a different question.

What is that you disapprove, or reject/dislike in him?

Can you accept him as he is? If you get “No” then continue the exercise. You will not get an immediate yes, as you have dislikes for him.

Does this person cause fear in you? What will happen if you are standing in front of him? Is there is any feeling of insecurity?

  • Release your feelings of insecurity.
  • Release your feelings of him.

What do you think will happen if you are in front of him? Do you want this fear to happen?  If no, then release it.

  • Can you release this wanting to happen?
  • Release your fear.

How do you protect yourself? Do you show your anger? Do you resist him? Alternatively, do you have the desire to separate from him or go away from him?

  • Release all those desires.

Can you now accept the person as he is? If you get ‘No”, then continue the exercise. Can you have trust in him? Does anyone think that he or she cannot accept him as he is?

Please understand, if you cannot accept him, then he will continue to be in these types of situations. If you do not want to quarrel or lose harmony, you can nullify the charge of emotions by accepting him as he is.

Related Blog

I love to take control of my life: http://wp.me/ptUMq-4D

Do you know why you react negatively?

Naran

Even though you are successful in your career…!!!

By nature, you are pure – positive, fearless, loving etc. In that sense, all of us are united at a level – called as Sub-conscious Mind or Universal Mind, where we have access to this positive energy.

At this level we are perfect, can do anything we want and be anything we would like to be.

However, we bring in the energy of negativity from outside. Thus, fear, anger, hatred etc., comes from outside and not inside us.

Then, how to get rid of the part that you don’t want?

Affirm:

“I RELEASE the part that produces anger”.

“I OPEN and ALIGN WITH the part that activates love, and forgiveness”.

Attend the workshop on 19th Oct, to know more about your shadow self: http://wp.me/p31KXo-1Y

Boost Your Self-Confidence

Naran

Develop confidence when jobless

You can learn a lot by observing people. Learn to understand your existing relationships – with your family members, friends, and relatives.

Move with them closely, express and communicate with love as if you were meeting them for the first time and as though this would be the last time you are going to meet them.

Contribute something to them lovingly. Help them in any manner you can. It need not be financial.

This will boost your self-confidence and enthusiasm. Normally one feels confident and enthusiastic only after getting the job. Now, you are acquiring this state before getting the job.

This will also make you a better person. You will also learn how to relate to your colleagues and superiors when you move to your future workplace.

When you are ready to learn anything new, then this period would become a period of relaxation, instead of a period of frustration. 

TRAIN your MIND

Read the first part here: http://healbyeft.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/learning-the-art-of-white-magic/

SWAPNA

But to train our mind, which has been seeking love from outside world from many lives and suddenly to turn it towards the unseen force of love of god, is the most difficult thing to do.

Is there any easy way to surrender to god, or to train our mind which is not used to that process till now?

Naran

How did you learn the alphabets? Was it not difficult at the young age of 4 or 5? Are you still finding it difficult?

Start.

Nothing is easier. There is no short cut.

How do you turn inward?

When there is anger, what we do? We see the person outside, react to what he says and then the altercation starts.

When any emotion is kindled, check yourself from participating. Instead, go within yourself and ask, “Why this anger in me? From where (inside me), it is coming?”

If the physical indication points to me – my hunger and thirst, I immediately satiate my hunger and quench my thirst. Similarly if there is anger in me, I have to release it, instead of inciting it.

Try this with any of your emotions and thoughts. Release anything as and when it arises. Just say, “Can I release this? Say I release this anger…”

A SIMPLE technique to make others love you

Before doing anything, before speaking anything, ask yourself, “Will the Divine be happy and bless me if I do this or speak this?”

If you think that the divine will be happy and bless, then you may proceed.

Then you will be loved by one and all.

Why we are doing this exercise?

It makes you to be silent, or to train yourself to be in silence. We cannot know the value of silence.

As you reduce your speech, silence will automatically come. Silence will develop as you stop using unnecessary words.

Lead a Life of No-Karma

The more you try to be silent or reduce your speech you will come out of your karma very easily. The moment you utter a word, you are incurring your karma.

You are not responsible for any word or emotion that is not under your control. If you just say “RELEASE”, the emotion or thought will go.

Instead of doing that, with emotion/thought as your motivating force, if you utter a word or do a thing then you are entering into karma.

When there is conflict or quarrel you have to be very careful in using your words. If we speak unnecessarily it will bounce back on you at a later stage.

(Only here) You should use your analytical mind and restrain from such talks.

The above extract was taken from ‘I Love Myself Workbook’ by Naran S Balakumar

Likes and Dislikes

Naran

How liking for a person operates inside the mind?

Take one person what you like about him and what you don’t like about him, say your spouse for example.

You have a liking for the person. What is the desire operating behind this like?

For some reason you like him. Whoever listens to us we like them. If somebody argues with us, even if they tell the truth we don’t like them.

Therefore, when we like somebody we have to like him for some reason. It could be based on desire for approval or desire to associate.

  • Therefore, shall we say, ‘I release my desire to like him’.

Because we have desire to possess, when that person is around, we feel happy.

When they go away from us, then we do not feel happy and start hating that person.

Did you release the liking for that person? We are not sure, so we are not releasing it.

When you release your likes about a person, everything will go on well between you and the concerned person. Love will get stronger.

  • Release all your likes and dislike for the same person.

How does dislike operates?

If they are like this, then I am happy about them. Thus, a desire to control or change the person operates here.

  • Therefore, welcome your dislike and release your dislike.
  • Then accept your desire to control and release it as well.

Learn to manage your fears

List out the fears

Think about your unnecessary fears and worries (over which you cannot do anything).

You list out all those fears.

Release them one by one.

Why fear should not be there?

Then fear will not allow you to love yourself.

How that fears can be removed?

You have to address one fear at a time and say:

  • “I AM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME FIND DIVINE LOVE”  (or)
  • “I AM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME FIND DIVINE FIBER”.

Meaning of the Switch Word Fiber

“FIND DIVINE FIBRE” means regain the courage in me or regain the trust in me.

When you get fear chant this, “FIND DIVINE FIBER”.

Switch Word Fiber creates a movement, while fear will stop it. 

One door closes Another door opens

Tanu

I and my boy-friend broke up last year though we love each other even now.

It all happened because of his friends as they cropped up misunderstandings between us. And he isn’t able to see that.

And I know he doesn’t have that much of courage to tell me that he still loves me. I really want to get back together with him.

Naran

Leave him!!!

Tanu

Then please suggest me something so that I forget him easily as I am trying to get over him. But, as we work at the same place, it’s really difficult for me to see him every time everywhere around me and that turns me off.

And I am full of sad feelings.

Or tell me how I can get my real soul mate.

Naran

I could understand your pangs of love.

Only for your highest good I suggested that.

I honestly feel that you should lead a happy life.

Can everybody be happy?

One has to learn to be happy in spite of events.

When we want something intently, and when we resist what is happening then what we get is pain. Though we want pleasure, our resistance to any event and our incomplete understanding of the divine order, gives us pain only.

Just observe what is going on in the mind.

  • As and when any thought come, just say, “Why not I release this? Yes, I let go of this thought?”
  • Release everything – every feeling, every thought – that prevents you to forget him.
  • If any thought or feeling does not get released, find out the desire behind this feeling or thought. If there is a desire to possess him release that desire.
  • If there is a desire to change him or the event release that desire too.

Do the releasing techniques as given above.

Other steps

If you can buy Bach flower remedies from your local homeopathy shop then buy:

  • CHICORY (to overcome the love pangs)
  • WALNUT (to release resistance and break away )
  • WILLOW (to overcome resentment and anger towards friends)
  • HORNBEAM (to move on)

Take those flower remedies by putting 6 pills of each in a bottle of water and keep on sipping that water from morning to evening.

Do this sipping for 15 days.

Put the pills once every day.

 

Obsession Will Not Make It Happen

Naran

If you are obsessed of anything, it may not happen. I want you to change your mind-set and be relaxed.

Oli

I am always scared of losing my love. I know I became obsessed and I really try to be relaxed and leave it to divine.

However, I get impatient as I lost my first love like this.  That’s why I think it is going to happen again.

Naran

Whenever you get the fear just say within, “Why this fear”?

The mind always has a tendency to think and feel as it did in the past.

The event may be new. The feelings and thoughts are never new. The same feelings and the same thoughts are produced every day.

As long as we think that we are mute spectators of events, we cannot do anything.

You are not your mind. When it produces some feeling or thought, which you don’t like, you have the ability to release it.

When a feeling arises, or when a thought comes out, just say:

  •          Can I release this thought?
  •          Why should I keep this thought?
  •          Is this thought helping me or hindering me?
  •          If it hinders me, can I release it?
  •          If the answer is “yes” say, “I release this thought.”

Say this as many times as possible so that you are out of the fear.

This method will help you come out of fear.

Fear always manifests what you don’t want in life.

Oli

You have told me not to be obsessed and to relax. But how can I able to know my limits? Can’t I have right to express my feeling? Can’t I pray or try to regain my lost harmony between us?

I am chanting mantras with full faith on divine. How can I know that there is still a hope? Because we are neither astrologer nor we can talk to divine.

I am going to say my feeling to him tomorrow after chanting OM CHAM NAMAHA OM JAM NAMAHA.

Naran

When you are obsessed with worry and fear you are breaking the quantum rules.

Your fear will manifest the one which you don’t want, instead of getting what you want.

Desire something. Quieten your mind, relax and release it to the divine field.

Approaching anything with the calm and relaxed mind has got better chance of getting what we want.

How to remain calm and relaxed?

That is where the surrendering attitude enters. By surrendering the desire to the divine field, you accept what the divine offers. Surrendering makes you think that whatever divine offer is good for me.

 

I am jobless, what should I do?

Rule: Increase Your Self-esteem by Working with Others

  • You can learn a lot by observing people.
  • Learn to understand your existing relationships – with your family members, friends, and relatives.
  • Move with them closely, express and communicate with love as if you were meeting them for the first time and as though this would be the last time you are going to meet them.
  • Contribute something to them lovingly. Help them in any manner you can. It need not be financial.

This will boost your self confidence and enthusiasm. Normally one feels confident and enthusiastic only after getting the job. Now, you are acquiring this state before getting the job. This will also make you a better person. You will also learn how to relate to your colleagues and superiors when you move to your future workplace.

When you are ready to learn anything new, then this period would become a period of relaxation, instead of a period of frustration.

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