Desire for approval in action
You can list the ways you seek desire for approval:
- Thank you for your appreciation
- I don’t want to hurt his feelings
- I should not reject him
- If I do this, he will be happy
- If I do this, he will not get angry
In addition, list the ways by which you allow yourself to be controlled by others or control others – Desire for approval.
You can term it as fear of rejection or disapproval, for example to influence others through Batch Flower Remedies (list this item too).
We have so much desire to control others and events. We use Bach Flower remedies either with a desire to change ourselves or others.
70% of the time we are operating with this desire and may be more, but not less. If we release this desire, most of the problems will be solved by itself!!
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How liking for a person operates inside the mind?
Take one person what you like about him and what you don’t like about him, say your spouse for example.
You have a liking for the person. What is the desire operating behind this like?
For some reason you like him. Whoever listens to us we like them. If somebody argues with us, even if they tell the truth we don’t like them.
Therefore, when we like somebody we have to like him for some reason. It could be based on desire for approval or desire to associate.
- Therefore, shall we say, ‘I release my desire to like him’.
Because we have desire to possess, when that person is around, we feel happy.
When they go away from us, then we do not feel happy and start hating that person.
Did you release the liking for that person? We are not sure, so we are not releasing it.
When you release your likes about a person, everything will go on well between you and the concerned person. Love will get stronger.
- Release all your likes and dislike for the same person.
How does dislike operates?
If they are like this, then I am happy about them. Thus, a desire to control or change the person operates here.
- Therefore, welcome your dislike and release your dislike.
- Then accept your desire to control and release it as well.
Posted in Rule Your Mind
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You will say neutral. I say balanced.
One lady called mummy said nasty things about you on blog and I was aghast for a few minutes.
I did your rule “exercise”.
Later, saw coolly how you tackle everything and everyone!!
In fact, before replying to Mummy, I did the same.
I am glad you have done it too.
Please read the blog, I have written based on the action I took after I read Mummy’s comments: http://healbybachflowers.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/denying-pleasures/
This is the message I want to give it for one and all:
- We are entitled to act and not react.
- Release your emotions, beliefs, and thoughts as well as the desires operating behind them and then act.
- This way your actions will not be based on past memories, but on reality.
Posted in Releasing
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You want to control your child’s behavior. Instead of studying, he is watching the TV all the time.
- First say, “I release my desire to control him”. Then advise him.
Why? If you tell him anything with judgment, then he will never listen to you for sure.
How do we control our children? They have to be punctual, eat healthy, study well etc.
Thus, we control all their activities because we think they are to be corrected. We don’t allow them to grow in their own way.
- What will happen if we don’t tell them so?
If I don’t tell him then he won’t go to school.
- There is a fear he won’t go to school.
- So I release the fear that he won’t go to school.
- What will happen if he doesn’t go to school? Nothing will happen.
I have a responsibility as a mother. Other people should say that my child is a good child.
- Say, “I release my desire for approval”.
- In addition, say, “I release my desire to control him”.
- Release all the desires and then discipline him.
- There are three basic desires that are operating within us – desire to control, desire to get approval and desire for security.
Even if I wake him up, he doesn’t get up.
- How do you exercise your control with him? By getting angry with him, you are exercising your control over him.
- Release that.
- What’s that you don’t like about him? You dislike him because he is getting up late.
- Release your dislikes about him.
He doesn’t behave as per my expectations. If he gets up on time then he will be no 1 student
- This is your expectation.
- Release all your expectations about him and then you discipline him
Each and every matter you need to analyze like this and then take your actions.
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