Our contradictory behaviors – Home vs. Work
We will keep criticizing people at home for small things, while we tolerate more in the work place.
On the contrary, when an assistant asks for small things, you may reject it using office procedures as an excuse. Though at home, you might prefer to say yes for whatever your wife asks for.
You may reject somebody and dislike somebody else. The same dislike will operate against you in some other place. Somebody else will reject you or dislike you.
She got into some problem in her office
Anjali was blamed for something she didn’t do, saying that the work comes under her jurisdiction. Whatever explanation she wanted to give was not accepted, even though she is an honest worker.
Then why this should happen to her?
I asked her whether she had rejected someone close to her. She said all along she treated her husband like dirt. I told her when she changes her attitude toward him, her office situation will become alright and it did.
When you are rejecting a person with no reason, then you will be rejected unnecessarily in some other place. If you constantly find fault with somebody then you will be criticised by somebody else. This is a mental cycle.
Abusing somebody who had asked for a donation
If you had insulted somebody unnecessarily then you will be insulted unnecessarily.
Somebody wanted a donation from Arun for charity purpose. He rejected him giving not only flimsy reasons but also criticised him vehemently. Later, after two years, he was charged by custom authorities and asked him to pay more.
We do not observe life at all. The person who came for donation was wounded. Now Arun is wounded. This is law of life.
Therefore, whatever you do, release you desire, emotions behind it and then do it.
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Desire for approval in action
You can list the ways you seek desire for approval:
- Thank you for your appreciation
- I don’t want to hurt his feelings
- I should not reject him
- If I do this, he will be happy
- If I do this, he will not get angry
In addition, list the ways by which you allow yourself to be controlled by others or control others – Desire for approval.
You can term it as fear of rejection or disapproval, for example to influence others through Batch Flower Remedies (list this item too).
We have so much desire to control others and events. We use Bach Flower remedies either with a desire to change ourselves or others.
70% of the time we are operating with this desire and may be more, but not less. If we release this desire, most of the problems will be solved by itself!!
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He is controlling me. If you think A is trying to control you, then it means you have fear of being controlled.
- Release the fear of being controlled
Can you release the fear to be controlled?
Why A is controlling you? It is because you have the fear of being controlled.
- Before releasing the fear welcome it and then accept it.
Whenever he controls you, are you resisting him?
- Accept your resistance to him and release it.
Do you like to change him?
- If yes, can you release the desire to change him?
What do you dislike in him?
- Can you let go this dislike?
You may ask a different question.
What is that you disapprove, or reject/dislike in him?
Can you accept him as he is? If you get “No” then continue the exercise. You will not get an immediate yes, as you have dislikes for him.
Does this person cause fear in you? What will happen if you are standing in front of him? Is there is any feeling of insecurity?
- Release your feelings of insecurity.
- Release your feelings of him.
What do you think will happen if you are in front of him? Do you want this fear to happen? If no, then release it.
- Can you release this wanting to happen?
- Release your fear.
How do you protect yourself? Do you show your anger? Do you resist him? Alternatively, do you have the desire to separate from him or go away from him?
- Release all those desires.
Can you now accept the person as he is? If you get ‘No”, then continue the exercise. Can you have trust in him? Does anyone think that he or she cannot accept him as he is?
Please understand, if you cannot accept him, then he will continue to be in these types of situations. If you do not want to quarrel or lose harmony, you can nullify the charge of emotions by accepting him as he is.
I love to take control of my life: http://wp.me/ptUMq-4D
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