“My wife is very possessive and highly interfering”.
Take one quality of your wife at a time.
Assume that quality is within you. In fact, you will be having those qualities inside you. That’s why you have attracted her to you.
Now, do the following, taking one quality a day:
- First day: “I release my interfering nature to Chicory.” Keeping this intention in mind, chant “CHICORY”.
- Second day: “I release my possessive nature to Chicory”. Chant “CHICORY”.
- Third day: “I release my insecurities to Chicory”. Chant “CHICORY”.
While doing the above exercise, please do the following too:
- Be sure to thank the opposite person for revealing the inadequacies and shortcomings inside you.
- Reflect on your past, find out whether you have exhibited these qualities towards others, and then release them to Chicory.
This does not mean that there is no place for emotions in life. However, they should be used as different tool and then they had to be let go. There is place for anger too, but if it not forgotten or released then it becomes a rancor.
Your spouse may not react if you do the following…He will simply accept whatever you do…
Saroja: I feel guilty.
Saroja: For the last 12 months I have been saving Rs.100/ to present a watch to my brother. I have to give that without my husband knowing it. My conscience pricks that I am doing something wrong.
Naran: Welcome the guilt feeling and release it.
- I welcome this terrible guilt. I release this guilt.
Naran: Is it still there?
Saroja: Yes. More than guilt, fear is there.
Naran: What are the thoughts in your state of fear?
Saroja: If he comes to know I will be doomed. This thought is obsessing me.
Naran: Fearing something means unconsciously or secretly means that we want this to happen. Do you want your life to be doomed by your husband?
Naran: Then accept it and release it.
- I release my wanting to be doomed.
Saroja: Sir, my fear is, if he comes to know, he will abuse me. I will be not allowed to see my parents and brother.
- I accept that I want to be physically abused by my husband. I let go of this fear.
- In addition, I let go of my desire to be abused by my husband.
- I want to stop meeting my parents. I accept this desire and let go of my desire to stop meeting my parents.
- I release my state of insecurity because I am safe.
Saroja: I feel better. I feel comfortable.
Naran: Why do you want to present a watch to your brother on his birth day?
Saroja: I am happy to see him happy.
Naran: How do you know that your gift will make him happy?
Saroja: He does not have one.
Naran: Your gift will make him love you better.
Saroja: Yes. I want to feel loved by him. I need his love.
Naran: Accept your need and desire for his love and release.
- I accept that I need his love and there is desire for his approval. I release my desire for his approval.
Will you be ready to tell your husband about this?
Naran: Release again you insecurity.
Saroja: There still some fear.
- I release my insecurity.
Saroja: Instead of him coming to know about this, I think rather it is better for me to tell him.
On the day of the incident, she describes in her own words
My fear started increasing. There was tension in the stomach.
- I accept there is tension in the stomach. I release my tension in the stomach.
My body was becoming heavy.
- I accept my body is becoming heavy. I release the heaviness.
I am ok now.
- I accept that I am ok. I release this okay feeling.
- Will he shout at me if I tell him about the watch gift? Let go, let go.
Silence for a few seconds.
- I can’t face his eyes. Let go, let go.
Some more silence.
- How do I tell him? Let go, let go.
Silence again. I gave the cup of coffee to my husband. My hands become cold.
- I accept my hands had become cold. I release the cold sensation in my hands.
My hands shivered.
- I accept that I am shivering and I release this shivering sensation.
- I release my state of insecurity (I repeat this affirmation few times).
Suddenly all my fears were gone and I became curious to know how he will react when I tell him about the watch gift. After taking the coffee, suddenly my husband asked me, “Your brother phoned up. It seems every year you buy him a gift. He asked me to remind you. What is your plan for this year?” “I am planning to buy him a watch”.
Lot of happiness joy enthusiasm fills me up.
- I accept that I am joyful. I release my joy.
“That is a good idea. We will buy one. “I told him easily, “I have already saved Rs.1200/- towards that“. “Fantastic, then we will buy the watch today itself”.
When I went inside to change my dress there was joy and happiness.
- I accept I am joyful. Can I release this joyful state? Yes. I release my state of joy. I release my happiness.
When I released my feelings of joy, an aura of peace was there, which can’t be described in words.
A Sample Lesson on how to handle your life issues
Naran: Welcome this mental state.
1. I welcome this feeling.
Naran: Can you release this feeling of being small?
2. I release the feeling of looking small.
Naran: What happens when he criticizes you? Do you think that your husband is trying to control you?
3. I release the belief that my husband is trying to control me.
Naran: What is your reaction when he criticizes you?
Raji: Inwardly, I just criticize and wanting to resist him.
Naran: What is the criticism?
Raji: Idiot! You never understand me. You need to be tortured in your office and so on.
Welcome these thoughts and release them.
4. I release the thought “You never understand me.” I release the thought, “You need to be tortured.”
5. I welcome that I resist him.
6. I let go of wanting to resist him.
Naran: Resisting means you want to change the person. Welcome and release the desire to control or change him.
7. I welcome my desire to control him.
8. I release my desire to change him.
Naran: Can you accept him as he is?
Naran: Then release this desire to change him again.
Raji: My anger is terrible. I cannot go further. I am stuck up.
9. Welcome it and release it.
Naran: If you hold on to this anger, you will have same situations repeated differently on different days. Because what you focus will invite the same energy and thus same situations. You can say the following and find out whether you can go further deep:
“This is how God has made him. I need not correct God”.
“I just allow him to be as he is. Let me be also as I am”.
Naran: What else did you feel when the person is around you?
Raji: I feel insecure and feel threatened.
Welcome this feeling.
10. I welcome that I feel unsafe and insecure.
11. I release the feeling of insecurity. I release my wanting to have more security.
Naran: Repeat and see what happens. Are you feeling safe now? Why should you feel threatened and unsafe? Just ponder over this question.
May be, you feel safe to some extent. Then do the releasing again. If you still feel unsafe, you are intimating to the other person you are powerless. This will further increase the fearful events. Repeat the releasing till you feel safe or till you get a sense of well being.
Raji: When my husband or anybody criticizes me unnecessarily I feel I am rejected; I am insulted.
Naran: That means you have a desire for his approval.
Raji: Yes. I always do things to please him. I am careful not to make him angry. All my actions are there to please him or to escape from his disapproval.
Naran: Welcome your desire for approval and release.
12. I welcome this desire for approval.
13. I release this desire for approval.
Raji leaves Naran with a feeling of calm and composure. That’s the advantage of doing living with awareness exercises. It leaves you with a sense of bliss and gives you a renewed strength and confidence to handle your problems.